*320 - lofty ambitions

Scholarship applications are stressing me out. More bothersome essays to pen. Interviews to panic over. Paperwork to settle.

And as always, the frightening thought of bonding yourself to a company you're not even sure you will like.

There are only a couple of scholarship providers that would even consider the course I want to take. Everyone wants people studying sciences, languages, accounts, etc. Hospitality? Tourism? Unheard of.

No scholarship, no going overseas. Unless I get into Cornell (of which the likelihood is nearly dipping into the negatives) because one does not simply let go of an acceptance from Cornell. But otherwise, there's no point spending so much money on me going overseas to study in non ivy league universities when a degree in Singapore would do just as well.

And then there's the problem of deciding which course to take in the local universities. Should I get a professional degree? Or should I do what I enjoy and end up with something much less prestigious, much less esteemed.

Why can't I aspire to be a doctor? (Personal phobias.) Or a researcher? (Boring.) Or a lawyer? (Just look at my sister suffer!) Or something impressive and professional like that? Why are my ambitions so far from lofty?

Well, one step at a time for now. Let's just see where God leads me. Scholarship applications first. Off to write essays exalting my, uh, very noble aspirations and, uh, lofty goals for the future.