*168 - candlelit studying

Thanks to the heavy downpour & lightning yesterday, the power in my house tripped. Mummy produced a candle, and we studied for a while by candle light. It may have been romantic, if we hadn't been studying.



Justin waves obligingly! Oops! Forgot to turn off the camera flash!

(Haha I just thought this photo was really funny. Justin looks so cute, almost like a happy cartoon character. And it shows how my powerful camera flash can turn night into day, sort of.)

We actually looked like this:



Mug mug mug!



Candle --> fire --> Justin's pyromaniac tendencies come out of the hiding. (Anyone who knew Justin in RI should know what I'm talking about.) He melted the tip of my pencil, which cannot work anymore, but it's okay. (:

-

Looking at the photos, and then looking down at what I am wearing at the moment, I am reminded once again of Mummy's remarkable efficiency. I'm wearing the exact same Buckle shirt + fbts outfit as yesterday.

Mummy washes my clothes and gets them dried so quickly that sometimes, I wear the same outfit at home for days on end. Usually I alternate between 3 different t-shirts: the old bleached Buckle shirt (above), the CCAL shirt with a hole at the shoulder, and the stained-pink Chingay shirt. With black FBTs. Even my underwear stays the same sometimes.

Maybe I should flip the crummy-wear-at-home t-shirt stack upside down once in a while, for variety. But then again, I don't really care what I wear at home, though anyone observing me would think that I never wash my clothes. Hehehe.

-

My policy on how to tell if a boy is good boyfriend material is to look at the way he treats other people, his family in particular. It's really quite telling, if a guy's nice and chummy with his pals but treats his parents with disrespect.

Somehow, watching him hoist Christine in the air and put his arm round his Mummy and do little things like offer his maid the last fishfinger is very endearing to me. I love the way he's nice to everybody, the way he's civil and friendly to even people he doesn't quite like, the way it's hard for anybody to truly dislike him because he's just so ... nice.

Teachers have told me not to use the word "nice" to describe anything, because it's too general and far too overused, but I can't help it.

I think it'll be quite difficult for me to find a boy with a lovelier personality than his.

(I suspect I've blogged about this before, perhaps even a few times! But I can't help it, he's nice nice nice :D )

*167 - clara

Clara - the little girl in the ballet, the Nutcracker.


(Click!)


Made for a dancer, by a dancer. (:

How often does one find dance/ballet themed jewellery? I love this so much I'm keeping one for myself, even though it's rather costly to produce. Sterling silver chains, sterling silver clasp, sterling silver ballet shoes, and a large Swarovski briolette add up to quite a sum!

Hope the ballerinas out there like this as much as I do (:

-

Anyway, I shall be off to cycle with Justin at Bishan park soon, cool anot? (: Something tells me studying for prelims should be the top priority now ... but lalala I choose to be oblivious for now (: It's a nice sunny day and it's time to move around, seeing how sedentary I've been for the past week or so. The last time I exercised was probably the last time I mentioned something about swimming, because exercising has become so rare nowadays that every occasion warrants a post.

And Syuan, I don't know how to add music to a blog, and even if I did I wouldn't tell you, because blogs with music annoy me! Disrupts my own music if I'm playing any. (Though my speakers are usually off so the music doesn't usually affect me :P) I believe there are quite a number of ways to do it, I'm sure a quick Google search will do the trick. (:

-

And because this is worth a mention: Humanities students are so privileged, their classrooms are cosy and air-conditioned! Studied in Hanyi's class yesterday with some of the ruggers, and it was a lot more shiok than trying to study in a lousy warm classroom or the lousy warm noisy canteen. And I couldn't study in the library because I forgot to wear my skirt. (As in, I wore shorts.)

I hereby proclaim that Wenloong's a genius at Functions (who actually cheats by using a graphical calculator), I'm so pleased that I understand the domain/range of composite functions now. Yay (:

*166 - GP, and the Sunday before

The privileges of having a personal secretary.

Daddy: Here are the airmail stickers.
Evelyn: (remembering what xY said) They're free right? But where did you get them from?
Daddy: I don't know, I told my secretary to get them for me, and she did.

-

GP was really strange. I thought writing about Science for Paper 1 was quite straightforward, until Angel scared me and now I'm not sure if I covered any relevant points. Haha! :P But if my strategy "the longer, the better" works (although I secretly know it doesn't) then I hope very hard indeed that I will do decently well, because ...

Paper 2 was just crazy. In Ms Lim's words, many teachers were "shell shocked" by the paper and I do suppose that across the board, noone really found it easy. Unless everybody's lying and does brilliantly in the end except for me, which tends to be the case over here in RJC.

Not sure what's going to happen, do they moderate? Or are we all doomed with lousy GP grades for our prelims? Please, no.

-

Time for bimbotic photos. Editing photos is a form of stress-relief to me, haha.

Guess who's autograph book? (:



I still remember the primary school autograph book days, where each entry would include stuff like Best friend, V. Good friends, Good friends, Hobbies, Fav. colour amongst others.

Sunday.


1. Our clothes matched, unintentionally of course, which was horrifyingly embarrassing. Had to endure the rest of the day in a jacket just so that we wouldn't match so closely.
2. Justin liked my hair (:
3. Smiling primly
4. Smiling like idiots (observe my neck tendons straining under the effort)

Service (or maybe I should say, after service) was great, I'm not quite sure why I started bawling but that tends to happen whenever I'm touched by the Spirit. The tears just start flowing. On retrospect crying was absolutely unglamarous, because (like Gabrielle :P) I'm very mucous-y when I cry. Which is one reason why I generally hate crying in front of people, unless I have tissue at hand, or unless it's Justin because I think he's used to all the gross mucous-y stuff dribbling out of my nose when I cry, yes Justin? (: Poor Justin.

Anyway, lunch.


1. Colourful Subway M&M cookie :D
2. "You can't see the meatballs can you"
3. "YAY, meatballs"
4. Pleased as punch! (My favourite sandwich from Subway :D Which they, unfortunately, are not sold in school.)


Shopped a little, for the first time in a long time. New oriental pencil case! I'm delighted (: Plus there are sequins, and I have a predilection (HAH, GP prelims vocab word) for shiny things, which prompts Justin to call me his magpie (:

Finally, no more zippy pencil cases for me! Ever since they started producing those in shops, I've been dying to get a new pencil case. Not special anymore mah. I still maintain that I am The Pioneer of Zippy Pencil Cases, after all, Mummy sewed it for me and my sister when I was in Primary 4 (or maybe 5). Hah. All you pseudo zippy pencil case users - I am The Most Genuine of all!!

(:

(Ok now don't get angry, if you have a zippy pencil case I think you have great taste :D)

*165 - dancing in the streets

Yup, I'm dancing in the middle of the road. Don't ask why, you'll find out soon enough anyway.



And of course, it takes about 50 shots to get one right shot every time, so here is one of the 49 other 'wrong' shots. I have to say, it is a rather typical face of mine, and I know I look just like that whenever I'm laughing madly / going insane.



I don't believe the prelims begin tomorrow.

I also don't believe I'm still fiddling with photos and earrings, seeing that the prelims begin tomorrow. Ho hum.


[edit]

Surprise, suprise, it's a new necklace! (:

*164 - interview

Oh, what a disappointment!

I got incredibly excited last night when I received an email from Cornell, confirming my interview, and telling me to contact my interviewer. And I was incredibly, incredibly excited, when I realised that I knew who my interviewer was!

She's my brother's friend, and 5 years ago when I was just a kiddo (heh) she actually had dinner with my family, to tell my sister more about Cornell's Hotel Administration program. And that was when I first learnt about such a course.

But this morning, I found out she wouldn't be my interviewer after all, because she's working in New York at the moment. So sad so sad. ): Praying hard for a nice interviewer, I'm scared stiff at the prospect of being interviewed to be honest!

*163 - what have i got

So this is what happens when I fall asleep with wet hair and wake up before I've had adequate sleep.



My hair sets itself into a pretty terrific hairstyle (you can't tell how poofy it is in the photo), my eyes become alarmingly tiny, and I am deathly pale. (Ok, Justin looks a little faded here too so maybe it was the flash.)

Now you understand how I can scare myself silly by looking into the mirror in the middle of the night sometimes.

-

I've been stressing out and churning out documents for the teachers whom I've asked to write recommendations for me. And yesterday, I finally compiled a nice neat set of forms and writeups and information, together with labelled envelopes and too-many-stamps (kiasu lah) in each envelop for the teachers. And even a contents page leh :D

Ms Lim seems to think the essay's relevant and interesting, which is great. And her English is ever-powderful (:

Mr Tan was really nice, read through the stuff I've written and gave suggestions and everything. And said he'll get an airmail sticker for me because I had forgotten about that. (Note to self: get Daddy to buy some.)

The Other Teacher, however, got into a huff because I had left it in her pigeon hole with a note (I couldn't contact her), forgot to include an airmail sticker, didn't personally lick the stamps and stick them onto the envelop for her, and included some forms in the file instead of in the envelop ("where got people so funny wan, file up the forms"). (But where got people so funny wan, file everything and leave a few forms hanging loose.) She sent back the entire set of stuff to me ... so I've got to bring it back next week with everything done up properly.

I don't think she was terribly, genuinely angry with me, after all she stuck out her tongue at me as a form of "goodbye" after the whole episode in the staff room, but I'm just rather upset that she didn't appreciate my hours and hours and days and days of effort at all. All the 'problems' are, realistically speaking, extremely trivial. And she sent me off saying that if I was going to ask her to write recommendations for other universities, I better improve on it the next time.

Aiyah. I suppose it could have been worse. Just wallowing in self-pity and feeling wronged, indulge me for a while.

:
Haha I'm fine actually! (That was kinda cathartic :D )

-

Speaking of Ms Lim (yes, that was a number of paragraphs ago), the other day she was talking about the hungry ghost month (for the life of me I don't understand how come there are 2 consecutive hungry ghost months this year), and she mentioned something about 'rabid burning'. Bunny-loving me heard 'rabbit burning', gasped extremely audibly and was tortured by images of cute rabbits being burnt alive long after that.

Actually, that reminds me of the day (just recently) I was in the bus, and I suddenly saw a great bushy brown thing flapping violently from side to side in the middle of the road, and squealed so loudly 'OH MY GOSH' that many heads in the bus turned to stare at the poor dying squirrel that had been crushed by a vehicle ): It was writhing and swinging its tail, trying desperately to get up, but I suspect it must have been killed within the next minute.

Rabbits and squirrels don't deserve to die ):

-

Expectations are running high. All my life, I've been producing excellent results, people think I'm intelligent, people think I'm hardworking (HAHA), people think I'll do well "as usual".

And not many realise how slim my chances of getting into Cornell are. 200 places for the course. 20 international students. About 6 international students get in yearly through Early Decision. Number of Singaporeans in the course each year? Zero, one, two, and perhaps three on an unexpectedly good year.

What have I got that the thousands of other applicants don't?

Some people say to "believe in yourself" but no matter how hard you believe, if you haven't got what it takes, you just don't have it. Believe, believe, believe and you'll end up even more crushed when reality smashes down upon you. Pessimism is irritating if it makes you whine to everybody around you, but I still prefer pessimism over optimism. Okay, maybe not pessimism, more like, um, not expecting too much.

I guess I shall just be honest (considered inventing an awesome story to put in my essay but stuck to the truth in the end), be myself, and pray for the best. If I get it, praise God, if I don't, praise God. Because it means that there is an even better route out there, I may not understand why now, I'll probably cry and soak through a few of Justin's sleeves first, but ultimately I know that

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

We shall see how it goes.

-

So little time, so much to do. (Oh my goodness that's the ultimate cliche to use.)

University stuff shall have to be put on hold for now, and I shall commence mugging. Not so much 'resume' mugging, but I think the better word is 'commence'.

-

Mummy just came in to rant about tuition, and I realise I feel the same as her.

It's always been a Number One Studying Law of mine to study independently. I don't use anybody's notes, I don't look for teachers to explain stuff to me unless I REALLY am incapable of understanding it, and I definitely do NOT go for tuition. Never in my life, haha.

I know tuition works great for many people. And if you do well (probably much better than me) because of tuition, then that's great for you! But even though it might benefit me if I took some classes myself, the idea of being spoonfed and led by the hand in my studies gives me the goosebumps.

Yeah, it's just a matter of pride. Pride, pride, pride. I want to know that if I do well, it's because I relied on noone but myself, and if I do poorly, it's because of noone but myself as well. The idea of being self-motivated instead of being forced to study.

And besides, I don't think my parents would even let me have tuition if I wanted.

(Please, please, please don't think that I'm putting down anybody who goes for tuition, I think it's great for you but it's just not great for me because of personal reasons.)

(Blogging sucks like this, because I have to tiptoe gingerly around with my words, and try not to offend anybody. Which makes blogging very fake, which defeats the initial purpose of blogging, at least for me. But ironically that's what makes blogging fun too, because it's easy to pretend you're living another life. Just don't blog about some of the nastier sections of your life and everything seems perfect for that moment.)

(I am getting wordier and wordier, and my paragraphs don't even link, and since I'm not always talking about bimbotic stuff (that seems to form the bulk of people's Favourite Blogs to read), I predict that in the near future, even Wenloong will stop reading my long entries to the very end. Hehehe yes Wenloong?)

*162 - flighty

I've been so utterly moody these few days. It's a feeling of "help I have so much to do to apply for university and I'm spending so much time on the applications that I haven't studied for the past I-don't-know-how-long and therefore I'm not going to do remotely well for Prelims so how the heck am I going to get into any good university no matter how brilliant my application is".

Yeah, that's a pretty long emotion.

But I really do feel like ripping my hair out now, or somebody else's perhaps.

No lah, I am sweet and unviolent by nature. Giggle giggle eyelid flutter giggle!

SFDAL;JKJGAZLK;HG%@$!!

-

I should just thank God now for a family like mine. Name any course any university, Daddy will tell me all about it. Beg The Sister to save me, and she'll zoom over right away to correct my grammar or fix a knotty sentence or pat me on the head. And Mummy's just Mummy, nagging at me to sleep more and telling me she's praying hard for me and doing all sorts of lovely things.

(I realise, with utmost sadness, that in times like these I haven't got much to say about The Brother. I think it has something to do with the 9 years age gap - not the fact that it's a large gap, although it is, but because the timing was such that while I was growing up, Joel wasn't around. NS followed by Cornell meant 6 years of him not quite being part of my life. It's sad, it really is. Well, maybe some day ...)

-

On another note but not really, I realise that while my grammar is generally fine and my vocab is okay, I've lost the ability to express myself perfectly in words. Elisa throws her hands up in despair and feels like crying when reading my essays. I talk like a Science student, I write like a Science student. It takes a great deal of effort to write down what I feel in essays, I might have all the passion in the world but when I try to put it in words everything sounds cliched and dull and it gives me the goosebumps.

I know I've said this a milliontrilliongazillion times over, but I wish I could write.

I fear for my GP grades. Zero content + zero writing skills = zero marks. Damn.

-

I am dying from a lack of sleep. Trying to force my eyelids open in class is no joke. Trying to force my eyelids open now is also no joke.

-

Rather flighty thoughts today.

Back to trying to salvage my essays from the shreds they are in now, to create a MASTERPIECE!! (Haha. Ha. Ha. Aren't I funny.)

-

(I just realised the irony of writing the above 2 sentences consecutively.)

-

(It is also rather ironic that as I write laudingly (I know there's no such word as laudingly but I can't think of how to phrase it) about my business in one of the essays, I simultaneously receive a bulk order of $80 worth of earrings, which makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because knowing people like my stuff thrills me, sad because I have to make the earrings, especially since I'm in a stressed-out hair-pulling state right now. Order includes Allegro and Michelle, which are creeping into the Top 5 Wanted Earrings, and which are also rather painful to make.

Just sent a panic SMS to Elisa saying "COME HOME SOON YOUR SISTER NEEDS YOU". Wail.)

-

(And this is the ultimate!! Minutes after I typed the above chunk, Michelle herself orders Allegro. Talk about amazing timing and coincidence! :D )

-

This has been a longer-than-usual post and I bet noone but Wenloong would have read the entire post, yes Wenloong? ;) Hehe!

*161 - i believe in fairies

(Click the picture! Yes I drew it, isn't she sweet? Shameless publicity, as always.)

*160 - summer

Gross face, I know, but I like the happy background.

(And to xY: You must be our greatest fan! I can't believe you actually notice when the site's down. I'm not sure why though, but it should be up by tonight :D )


[edit: later]

Ouch, just ate a very very full teochew dinner.

Anyway, what I want to say is:

The other day during lunch, I had the faintest urge to watch TV. After struggling to switch the TV on (which I accomplished!) and after that, to change the channel, I gave up because I couldn't figure out how to work the remote controls. I think I pressed a couple of wrong buttons, which made the screen turn into a screenful of static.

Omg I think I'm less "TV-savvy" than my Mummy, who even knows how to operate the DVD player by herself!! Yes, I'm such a nerd. And it's a little strange, because I'm sure I have in recent times managed to operate the TV. Hmm. I used to watch TV quite a lot when I was a kid, but I'm not sure what happened along the way. I guess I got hooked to the computer instead.

Anyway speaking of TV, I just caught a little segment of the National Day message. The camera was panning the audience and zoomed in on Lee Kuan Yew and the people beside him. Everyone was listening intently and was pretty much motionless, that is, until LKY looked down, lifted his sleeve, and checked his watch. Whereupon the camera cut straightaway back to PM Lee.

Hehehe. Just found that rather amusing :D


(And to Yock - I google searched 'alto clef' and I've never seen that before! Hahaha. I used to play piano in primary school, I think I've forgetten everything.

I shall stick to treble clefs, they are delightfully swirly & cute :D )

*159 - allegro

Ouch. After making this batch of Allegro's, I have decided to raise the price slightly for subsequent orders. Or else the pain & time spent really won't be worth it. (Lucky for the people who placed orders early!)



They look quite pretty, don't they? But owww, my fingers! Silly me and my 'refrain from using pliers as much as possible' policy.

Sandhya, guess which ones are yours :D
xY, I'm not sure which ones are yours :D

I shall go for a swim later, if time permits, and try to get browner, but that rarely works. Sinhui, Gabrielle and I are the same shade now, but Huiwen is still the most tofu-coloured of us all (:

*158 - dancer earrings

I have little dancers doing pirouettes on my ears, am I cool or what? (:



We'll be selling cute stud earrings soon, mismatched, with intricate detail and of top-notch quality (925 silver)! Just a little advert for those who like studs. (:

And because I cannot get this image out of my mind:

At the bus stop on the way home, there was a brown, athletic looking young man in shades who was wearing a singlet so meagre that only his abdomen and lower back were covered by cloth, and tiny little high cut shorts that flapped fiercely in the gentle breeze to reveal his entire bare bottom that was only (hardly) covered by a bright red thong.

I was more incredulous and amused than gross, actually. Hehehehe.


[edit]

And the Smashing Sterling Silver Studs are up for grabs! (:


Unfortunately, we're not making much money out of these, it's more for the fun of it I guess! I mean, where else can you buy a pair of matching studs that are different on both sides? Unless you waste money, buy 2 pairs of earrings and mismatch them for yourself.

It's a good deal from us, isn't it? Go and buy, they're cute (:

A note to Sandhya: You must pinky promise NOT to let anyone know where we got them from. ;)

[/edit]

*157 - who's afraid of the big bad wolf

So people think I'm unfeeling and mean and cold and hurtful. Perhaps I can speak for the 3 of us on this: We are affected very badly by the whole situation, for sure, and just because we act normally in class and seem to be pretty happy and nonchalant, it doesn't mean we're actually heartless and insensitive. Just because I don't cry and make a fuss in front of everybody doesn't mean I feel any less hurt. It's just not my way of handling things - I don't like to burden my friends with my problems, I keep the problems in me and only let it out to those very very few people who matter.

To the average classmate, or even a regular friend who has nothing to do with the issue, I suppose I would appear oblivious and uncaring. I do open up about personal issues to friends, but when my personal issues involve other people as well, sometimes it's best to keep the matter contained within the people affected.

That's not to say I'm putting down people who cry to their friends and open up to them in that manner. I mean, everybody cries on a friend's shoulder some time or another. (Okay, so I'm talking about girls here.) I just don't do it publicly and why would I want to let the world see that I'm upset? I find it humiliating to cry in front of many many people, because I just don't fancy the idea of having everybody see me cry, unless I really really cannot help it, and that's simply the way I handle things.

Just had to let that out of my system. I can't stand it when people judge me wrongly. If you hate me for a legitimate reason, then fine. But you guys don't even know everything. You think you know what happened, but you actually don't. You don't know. You really don't know. You don't know our side of the story, you don't know hers. You don't know the little details, which make all the difference. You don't know. So please, don't judge me. Don't judge my friends. And that includes her. You can't take a stand on a whim, when you don't understand what happened. It's not fair. It's really not fair.

If you know everything that happened, feel free to think what you want about me. Hate me if you wish. But don't hate me for unjustified reasons.

*156 - essays essays essays

I just compiled a list of essay topics I have to write for US University applications. And I'm only looking at one college for now.

Grand total: FOUR essays

To be ready by Nov 1 (early d), preferably a few weeks earlier, which effectively leaves me with a month to write them all, which effectively leaves me with NO TIME TO STUDY and an onslaught of PIMPLES (stress lah).

Damn.

At least I'm done with the blasted Top 3 Achievements, so I don't have to include that in the checklist.

But still.

Damn.

Today has been a sucky day, really. I just wish I could seal all my problems in an air-tight ziplock and toss them into a corner, at least for now.

*155 - in love

Words, Wide Night
By Carol Ann Duffy

Somewhere on the other side of this wide night
and the distance between us, I am thinking of you.
The room is turning slowly away from the moon.

This is pleasurable. Or shall I cross that out and say
it is sad? In one of the tenses I singing
an impossible song of desire that you cannot hear.

La lala la. See? I close my eyes and imagine
the dark hills I would have to cross
to reach you. For I am in love with you and this

is what it is like or what it is like in words.


I just thought this was beautifully penned. I wish I could write, I really wish I could.

*154 - selfish

Deleted.

*153 - fireworks

Yesterday, I went for a swim - the first time I've done anything more strenuous than walking in the past few weeks, hoorah! I was burnt to a crisp, and it wasn't the normal pinkish/red sunburn, but it was more like the scary greyish chaota kind of sunburn. Funnily enough, I've returned to my original colour today, yay?

Seminar with the parents after that, and then a trot down to Cine to pretend to study while I waited for Justin to join me.



At Pastamania ... 69! Gasp, the connotations!!

After my favourite spinach stuffed pasta (I know it sounds gross but it's yummy, really) we joined about half of Singapore at the Esplanade, where we were more than an hour early, but everybody was already squished together like sardines. We managed to find a nice (relatively) empty spot behind some metal structures, where we could actually breathe and not have to press against sweaty strangers, which seemed like a much better idea than cramming with the majority of the crowd nearer the waterfront.



Waiting for the fireworks to start! (Looking oily and sweaty, which we were, but never mind that.) We blinded everybody around us, including ourselves, taking this. Ouch, powerful camera flash.

And then, after waiting and waiting and waiting, the fireworks began! (:



I stood there admiring the fireworks, randomly clicking the button on my camera (about 100 times I think), not even looking at what I was taking. Found some nice clear shots in there after that. Not bad not bad. Plus, photoshop can solve anything -sly eyebrow wiggle-

It went on for maybe 10 minutes or so, and it was terribly pretty. I loooove the gold fireworks, it looks as though the sky is raining bits of gold (: Lovely lovely. Gush gush gush. (: I do wish they could have gone on longer though! And someone please invent smoke-free fireworks!

Ok, now for the not-so-pretty side ... The aftermath.



And this was just a TINY fraction of the amount of litter. Singaporeans are irritating and inconsiderate. I hate it when people litter on the streets. They say that Singapore is a clean & green city - It sure is, but it's not due to the initiative of our citizens, it's because our cleaning services are so efficient.



Have you ever seen so many people struggling to get to the MRT? (Taken at Citylink, if you can recognise the location.) And this was after we waited for the crowd to clear up somewhat. I took nearly 2 hours to get home! Phew. Not quite sure if the 10-minute-long display of fireworks, dazzling as it was, was worth the hassle! Never mind, let's not think about that (:

*152 - warning: bitchy entry

Sandhya: Singapore flag got star(s) what! Hehehe. Okay fine, I was lazy. Plus the fact that I have trouble drawing the crescent + 5 stars properly :P

Tubby: Personal bodyguard! (:



(I look more bodyguardish here than you, but I thought we were taking a "bodyguard" photo mah. Who ask you to smile.)

Just: I don't know if you read this, but thanks for the Motivational Speeches, they always come at the right time (:

-

Sick and tired of all the nonsense. Stuff like that makes me wonder why the heck I try so hard sometimes. Just grow up lah, we're 18 already, hello, about time I should think.

-

Attention seeking ways usually succeed; it's just a question of whether the attention you receive is positive or negative. (By the way, it's usually the latter.)

I have a hunch that most people who secretly covet attention don't realise that everybody knows what they're getting at. So if you think I'm referring to you, I probably am not. Does that make sense?

-

My sudden inspiration to create lots and lots of earrings came at altogether the wrong time. You know you're addicted when you find yourself randomly doodling earring designs on your work during tutorials or lectures. Someone take my wires & beads & stones away please.

Elisa's friends tell us that we should increase our prices, while my friends tell me to lower them. Hm hm, who to listen to? ;) Actually, prices depend a lot on cost of materials (we only use good quality stuff!) and workmanship. Making earrings is a painful and time-consuming process, especially if you're anal about perfection like I am - sometimes I refuse to use the pliers and choose to suffer from bruised fingers and torn nails instead because pliers tend to nick the wires slightly.

Although I do know, deep down inside, that even if we replace the swarovski crystals with cheaper glass beads or not care about slightly kinked wires etc, not many people would notice, unless they're earring connoisseurs themselves. Now, whenever I look at earrings outside, I appear to be totally spellbound, but do not be fooled, for I am merely checking their quality and whether I can reproduce them for myself. ;)

A tiny preview of the earrings to come! I'm really into twirlywhirlyswirly nowadays. I wonder why stuff like that (and asymmetrical earrings) isn't out on the market yet, people who visit our site seem to like artsy things like this. Maybe because these are harder to machine-produce.



(I kinda like the porcelain white look in photos - But I'll much rather be a healthy brown in person. Yes, I know I'm a sickly yellow at the moment, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it.)

-

So, it all boils down to my insecurities, doesn't it? But now that I know you're trying, I'm getting better. Thank you (:

-

Cryptic entries give me quite a thrill. And learning from experience, we must all be careful not to say anything too blatantly on our blogs, or we might get sued!! Shivering in my shoes omg!!

Haha. (Don't be conceited, I haven't been referring to you until now, so please don't sue me.)

-

I can hear someone's voice going "Why so spiteful?" Hahaha.

Girls are different from boys, we are more emotional, and we can't be like you - brushing it all aside since it doesn't concern you. I'm sorry, I just personally wouldn't be friends with a compulsive liar and psychopath, even if her actions didn't affect me directly. Not sure how boys all seem to be able to close one eye and tell us "Don't care, it doesn't affect you, just ignore it."

Cannot lah.

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So many 'you's in this entry. Don't bother asking me who I'm talking about. If you think I'm talking about you and you want to um beat me up? - then go ahead, because being able to see yourself in my nameless statements is a neat way of confirming with me that there is indeed truth in what I say.

And getting beaten up might actually be rather cool, I'll have an exciting story to tell after that! Then again, I'm not sure if the thrill outweighs the pain and the possibility of dying, so. Okay, I better take that statement back. :P

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Long, bitchy entry, huh?

Forgive me, today has been tiresome.

It's exasperating to think that after hours & hours of patience and weeks & weeks of heaving a burden around on our shoulders, it all boils down to nothing. Plus all the other nonsense that's been accumulating throughout the past few weeks. There has to be an outlet for the steam or I might lose my sanity.

Enough.

Time to throw these frivolities out of the window and start worrying about me, me, me.

(I wonder if anyone read the entire entry. I wish Blogger had locked entries.)

*151 - happy birthday Singapore!

Happy National Day! We are patriotic and cool, yo.



Watching the parade on TV and getting tipsy on wine.



Amount of work done today: Close to zilch. I'm doomed.

*150 - twotwotwo

When you've just recovered from a major bawling session, anything (whether positive or negative) can push you to tears.

Elisa is the best sister in the world and Mummy's the best mummy in the world as well. (Not forgetting Daddy and Joel, but when it comes to girl problems of course the girls would understand better!)

Thank goodness everything is a-okay now, after teetering dangerously on the edge for that hour or so. Happy. (:

-

So, today was a Special Day (:



The camera flash decided to be extra powerful in the last photo, resulting in pretty much featureless faces! I think I look better like that. :P

Thank you for putting up with all my nonsense ... If I were you, I think I would have given up on me by now! I really thank God for blessing me with you. I don't know how I would survive without you.

Love you so much (: and don't ever forget that!

*149 - maddy

I <3 Maddy. I've got her interested in hotel management as well, and I really should stop increasing competition and making things harder for myself, shouldn't I? Haha!

But anyway, I <3 Maddy and this is why.

1. When is the concert going to start? ): (Note that we are checking the time on Maddy's, uh, watch.)



2. Yay! It started! -thumbs up-



3. Maddy looks like she has a thumb in her nose.



4. I have never, ever, in my life, seen my face look quite as strange as this. In fact, I look like I was punched in the nose and my face caved in and didn't pop back out into shape. HAHAHA. My intention was actually to look murderous but I turned out looking like a beaver instead. I LOVE THIS PHOTO VERY VERY MUCH.



5. Box you then you know ah.



6. Yo.



7. We realised we couldn't look cool (see above photo) therefore we are loserly. Observe the anguish on our faces.



8. In addition to being loserly, we are toots! Enthralled by Chem notes :D



9. Eww, is Maddy thinking lecherous thoughts?!



10. I am somehow not half as perverted-looking as Maddy but I try my best.



Hahaha, I wonder who actually looked at all the photos and isn't thoroughly sick of our faces yet. I believe there are about 20 more, but I'll spare you (:

*148 - espressionne

RGS dance night yesterday - Free tickets thanks to laoshi (and Xinqin, of course, for offering them to me), and we had good seats too! (: I loved the SYF item and Sam has truly blossomed into a beautiful dancer. Most of the other dances weren't extremely outstanding but I still enjoyed myself, and I do believe that's because they're young and haven't yet learnt to express themselves fully on stage without feeling self-conscious or copying moves furtively from their friends. Felt like a mass dance some times. Not everyone of course, but just a general feeling of not enough emotion to draw the audience in.

Of course, the most thrilling part was when the Spanish dancers came on stage, and I got to see the 18 pairs of earrings that we made glinting gloriously in the lights. Hehehe!

But anyway it was a commendable effort and a dance concert is a dance concert, I'll appreciate it no matter what (: Speaking of which, I'll be off in a while to watch another concert (:



Justin & I at the old supreme court waiting for my parents to pick us up. The lovely pillars were too pretty to resist, hence the rather pointless and relatively unflattering photo. There was a couple next to us, girl bundled up in boy's arms, practically lying on top of him - just thought it was a rather weird place to do that there, in full view of the heavy traffic :
What I did next was wholly mechanical, much like a reflex action:



In the typical fashion of an RJ student, I settled down and took out my notes. I was pretty aghast myself on realising what I had just done, ahaha.

Sent Justin home, and barely made it back without puking from carsickness - It was a pretty long car ride from Victoria to Justin's to home.

Scholarship day in school today, where the talks were not too useful and the exhibitions were stiflingly crowded and I was feeling sleepy. The Parents got to chat today, so that was cool. My parents also saw Ms Lim for the first time ever for about 5 seconds, so that was cool too.

I'm still trying to think of my backup plan, in case I don't get into any of my selected universities or can't get a scholarship in the first place. My current backup plan: biochemistry, which seems like a rather toot and boring alternative. (I just explained the meaning of toot to my daddy and I think it's becoming his favourite phrase!)

Okay off for the concert. Toodleloo.

*147 - hello panda

This is no ordinary Hello Panda.



This is a Very Special Hello Panda - because they left out the strawberry filling!!



[I was so excited about it that Justin had to make an origami box for me to carry it home safely, and it's sitting on my desk now.]

*146 - siti

HELLO SITI!

:D My sister just informed me you read my blog! Gasp! Just wanted to mention that I'm not the only genius, Elisa's now picked up the art of making earrings as well (: Pleased as punch that you like our stuff (:

[edit] xY: That's because we realised our newly-purchased batch of gold-filled hooks were more than THREE times more expensive than the 925 silver ones! Of course you get $1 off, it wouldn't be fair to up the price after I tell you it's $2 (: Glad you like 'em, and don't need to worry about the glass beads I think they're hardy enough - if they break or something just return to me I'll replace them for free (:

*145 - onetwothreefourfive

Firstly, it pays to be a teacher's pet. Hehehe.

Secondly, I wonder why some people lie compulsively, for no apparent reason, and somehow don't realise that everyone knows they are lying.

Thirdly, I am so thankful for a wonderful family like mine - I wonder what I would do if I had to find out all about universities and scholarships and everything on my own, like some of my poor friends. My parents are great, they've been searching for universities & courses every single day, and being in the education line themselves, they have wonderful advice and know a lot of useful stuff. My sister is brilliant, I wouldn't survive without her, she would do anything to help me, she would probably write all my university application essays for me if I let her, and I would have died & shrivelled up a long time ago if not for her. My brother is brilliant for having studied at Cornell, and I will find some way to mention his name in my application teeheehee coughstringpullingcough. Okay, I'm kidding.

Fourthly, I just realised the extent of the competition for those measly 200 places in Cornell for Hotel Management within RJC itself, not to mention all the other JCs, and not to mention the entire multitude (Ms Lim warned never to use this word unless you're referring to huuuuuge numbers) of students worldwide. When everybody boasts of handfuls of A's and Distinctions and have glowing recommendations, what do I possibly possess that would put me a level above the rest?

Fifthly, I am off to give my brother's friend a call - she was one of the few in Singapore who got a place in Cornell for Hotel Management. I shall find out once and for all if this is really the path I want to follow, and if I'm suitably cut out for it.

[edit]: Didn't get to talk to her much, but it pretty much sounds like what I thought it was. A typical business course except with more focus on the hospitality area, but apart from 1 semester of working with hotels, you can choose to never have anything to do with hotels again if you wish. Cooking classes, managing a real restaurant for two nights, wine courses and other cool hands on stuff included. Together with the usual business stuff like marketing, tourism, accounting, management, law, human resources, etc. And what I need is to show real interest ... guess I'll have to play up the whole earring business thing!

Hmm hmm so scary so scary ):

*144 - insomniac

I have to say, this is a rather peculiar time to be blogging - 6.45 am in the morning. Plus the fact that I had less than 2 hours of sleep last night. Bad throat (I've been sounding like a boy undergoing puberty) + a sudden bout of stress (these only seem to occur at night, I do believe if I get stress spells in the day I would be a more productive person) + a restless mind that refused to stop thinking about university applications = cannot sleep until past 4 am. After a while, I got so panicky about the fact that I just couldn't fall asleep, that I really couldn't fall asleep.

I think I meant to blog about something rather important which was nagging at my mind while I brushed my teeth just now, but it being 6.50 am and all, I've completely forgotten what I had to say.

This does not bode well. The sun hasn't even risen and I'm longing for this day to end.