*363 - silent night, broken night

Gerry: Oh no I realise I can't remember your name past Gerry Sim Pei ___. Hahaha.

Amy: We can pray together for your sake that he visits Brewerkz hehe.

Melissa, Zhu, Sinn: Teeheehee ;)

Molester: Ni yao chi muffin ma?

Shib: I only ate 1 more and then the rest just disappeared the next day!! Like omg I don't know who ate them!!

Mud: You can check out www.sentiodanceconcert.com for more details (: Groups include RJC alumni, RJ, SA, LADC, NUS.

Venetia: Really? Is he a good waiter? Haha :P

-

Had Little Evelyn's dance prac on Wednesday, which was extremely productive because we finished learning the entire dance! Wow! Thought that was pretty terrific, kudos to Evelyn & Iris for being wonderful ic's! (:

I made my specialty (haha) chocolate cream cheese muffins for the dancers!











Amazing how all these dancers can still look so pretty even when doing silly things like looking greedy or dancing with my muffins!

Sorry about the quality of my muffins that day - they were the ugliest muffins yet, and didn't taste as yummy as usual, because I was crying as I made them hahaha. Of course, I wouldn't be baking if I had been crying from the start, but once you start baking and THEN start crying you can't leave off halfway, so I plopped the batter haphazardly into their cups through my tears and nearly started crying again when they came out looking so ugly.

(Note: I told Maddy about the crying, which is why she did the "sad muffin" pose for me.)

Hahaha I am such a drama queen.

-

Thursday: Very exciting day with Shib (at last), more about that another day because I have to rush off soon.

Friday: Very long day with me scheduled to work from 11 am to 11 pm, but I was already zombie-ing at about 6 and making myself hopelessly useless, which was probably why Evan sent me off early from work at 8.30. Sorry sorry! ):

Saturday: Full attendance for Wanjun's dance for the first time!! Nearly finished the dance, yay. Thankful to have a strong partner who gives me lots of 'hang time' hahaha but I shall attempt to lose weight from now till June for his sake :P Haha okay, everyone knows that'll never happen. Made myself hopelessly useless during alumni prac by completely disappearing altogether, and I am really, really sorry about that ):

Met Joel at J8 for Meet the Robinsons after that which was very cuuute! "RAWR but I have a big head and little arms!" Joel provided the free movie tickets and bought me my favourite sinful cheesy nachos (I much prefer those to popcorn) and got Daddy to drive us home ... and he drove me to school in the morning too! Big brothers are cool. (:

-

Bittersweet memories. The sad irony of yesterday's events, which coincided so spectacularly that it was almost funny. Thank you all for the hugs and messages and for Nat who sang the latte boy song for me to cheer me up hehe. You guys probably don't know exactly what's going on but thanks for being there for me, and you don't have to worry about me (:

I cry a lot and I get sad a lot ... BUT I'm not depressed or anything. It sounds incongruous I know, but I can't say I'm depressed when at the end of the day I pick myself up with a smile on my face because I know my God has bigger and better plans for me so I don't need to worry. Yup. (:

*362 - byebye lucy

Lucy's flying back to China!! ): Yesterday was her last day at work, so I made her earrings and Jacob wrote her a card in Chinese from the both of us (no points for guessing why he wrote it and not me). Really cute because she gave me such a big hug that I nearly toppled over backwards.

Seized my last ever chance to take a photo with her and brought the camera to work!


This is a really bad photo because 2 people are blinking, Eric's head is blocked, Roslee's chewing his food, and Evelyn's ugly. But it's the best one that had Mr Boss in it.


A better photo, sans Mr Boss, with newest addition to the EB family, noone blinking, noone blocked, noone chewing, but Evelyn still ugly.


Grainy photo because the lighting in the bar isn't photo-friendly.


Lucy so cuuute (: Scooping ice at the bar, hehe! Will miss having her around and her cute notes to me (I kept one of them!) hehe.

-

Work yesterday was pretty pleasant despite the scary (short-lived thankfully) squabble upstairs and fact that I had to be greeter for a while. But I was a good greeter! I actually had a nice lady who squealed at the voucher I gave her and told me that she would pop by for dinner the next night. Haha! And I even met a handful people and friends outside in the 15 minutes I was pacing around outside before I had to go back in to serve.

New girl working at EB who's quite pretty! And she lives really really near me, about 2 or 3 bus stops away in fact. Cool.

And of course the highlight of the night! Getting one of my first substantial tips* that I was allowed to keep*, from a local celebrity* no less!!

* substantial to me, but people like Banana who get tips like that a few times a day would laugh at me, haha!
* the rule is that tips are to be shared except when the customer specifies that "the tip is for YOU"
* Elvin Ng! & friend whom I do not know.

He was actually damn handsome in person leh. I had to suppress the urge to scoop them a bigger ball of ice cream than the customary. Hahaha ;)

-

I feel like such a baby sometimes. But it's not easy to keep the tears in. It's quite strange how emotional hurt can manifest itself as physical pain - haven't you ever felt that icy grip across your chest that hurts you, it really hurts you, not mentally but, really, physically?

Sick and tired. I'm not particularly concerned about physical hurting. I've learnt to endure pain. (Gosh that sounds suicidal, but nono, I meant it in the sense that I've got pretty high tolerance from all the injuries etc.) But tired emotionally. Tired of not being happy happy happy all the time. I like being smiley happy. Being a blessing to people. Being a bundle of joy. I try, but it's hard.

Actually I'm still quite happy lah (: I'm not depressed. I'm not suicidal. (Banana no need to worry hehe.) I know I'm super duper blessed by my Daddy God. & I'll be fine.

*361 - mocha madness

Sis had a long chat with J last night regarding NUS law, which was pretty interesting. Maybe as a consolation to anyone who's worrying about their NUS law interviews, my sis decided to apply for law the day of the deadline, didn't prepare a thing, went into the interview hardly knowing anything about law, not even having much desire to be a lawyer in the first place, and got through anyway. So it's okay (: And anyway, if you have a passion for something, and you know why you want what you want, I believe it'll show through.

-

The house was really beautiful! Except for the horrible leopard skin chairs at the dining table, haha. And the fact that the house doesn't look that great from the outside to me (angular and boxy). I laughed myself silly at the sight of the wall covered with unevenly positioned bricks that extended from the first floor to the rooftop (it's the whole open concept thing) because it looked like a rock wall and the thought of being able to scale your dining room wall all the way up to your room on the 3rd floor, or even the rooftop if you want, is pretty hilarious. Hahaha.

And speaking of open concept, the master room has a bathroom that's surrounded by thick curtains which means that if you pull open the curtains you can watch my mummy bathing. Hahaha.

And the best part is that the girl's room has a full length mirror and a barre. Like omg. Think about it. How many people dance? And out of that number of people who dance, how many actually install mirrors and barres in their room? And out of that number of people who do, what are the chances of them putting their house on sale, and what are the chances of us coming across such a house?

It's a beautiful house but we might not get it, unless we can negotiate a good price with the seller. I'm just going to pray hard, and that if the deal doesn't work out, I know He's going to provide us with an even better house and that's just thrilling!

-

Me: I NEED TO BAKE NOW -hyperventilate-
Mummy: At this time of the night??
Elisa: Just let her. You know you can't stop her.


Guess what flavour? (:

This is an example of the many failed attempts to take a photo of myself & the muffins using the self-timer, because it's difficult to sprint into the kitchen and pick up a dangerously hot tray of freshly baked muffins with an oversized fiddly oven mitt that's a little too thin for comfort, and strike a pose, within a matter of seconds.


Good? (: Mocha muffins!

Baking at night is fun, because it's cool and breezy, and you don't have to fight for kitchen space with anyone else. The downside is that the lighting sucks so you can't take nice photos. (Unless you use flash, but I refuse to.)

After tasting the muffins, I was pretty sad because they didn't taste very mocha-ish. They were so sadly normal. So I decided to allow myself to disregard my calorie woes and make frosting for once! (: Coffee frosting. Yumm.


The best photo I could take considering the crappy lighting and my unwillingness to use flash. Glistening coffee frosting atop moist mocha muffins!

The next day, the muffins tasted awesome because the coffee flavour of the frosting infused into the muffin itself and MMM it was a lovely breakfast treat. The subtle smell of coffee on a sunny morning really makes me happy.




(This picture shows that even when I do use frosting, I use it extremely sparingly!)


Irresistible mocha muffin ;)

-

I always end up crying.

Don't you notice that I am not happy.

On the surface, yes. I am happy. But deep inside, I can't be completely happy, and you know why.

-

How to tell you're ready for a relationship: when God is your #1 love. With God in the centre and everything, everything else, on the peripheral. When God's love is overflowing in our lives, we can then give our love to The Person that He blesses us with.

*360 - Sentio.

SENTIO
(click)

A non-profit dance concert for the Bone Marrow Donor Donor Programme.

8 June, Friday, opening night: $15, $30, $50
9 June, Saturday, gala night: $25, $50, $100

(Held at Republic Poly)

Featuring lots of dances, including jazz, modern, salsa, hiphop, etc. Performers include ex-RJC dancers (that's us!), LADC, NUS, and other dance groups from various schools.

Let me know if you want tickets (: Friends, please support!

*359 - in the mirror

Everyone is home on a weekday morning, and this is decidedly unnatural.

Elisa has the sniffles.
Mummy has terrible vertigo. ):
Daddy is looking after Mummy. (: (Smiley because I thought it was sweet the way he put his arm round her and practically carried her down the stairs)
Joel has a meeting later so he's home for now.
Grandma is always home.
I am a bum.

And this is the entire family.

-

Anyway I'm praying real hard that we'll be able to purchase the house we've been eyeing. At first, at 1.5 million it was a bit over our budget. But a few days later Mummy called them back and found out that they dropped the price a little, and so we might be getting it after all! I hope so, because (I haven't seen it but) it sounds perfect, and we don't even need to get our own furniture because the family's leaving everything behind, and apparently the furniture is designer furniture like when you turn on the tap the water flows into a little basin which overflows into a larger basin etc sounds real funky. Just going to trust God to provide, we're not rich but I believe we'll get a lovely home anyway because my God is gooood.

Plus I get to be Maddy's neighbour which will be fun. (:

Skipping dance at Jitterbugs today ): to check out the house later (:

-

Had dance on Saturday as usual. I was the last to leave the studio because I had to wait about 10 minutes before Daddy could come get me. Being the bimbo that I am, I got distracted with the camera and the mirrors in the studio.

It seems to me that it is very hip to take photos of yourself in mirrors and all the pretty girls do that, so I decided to learn from them! (: And, um, I tried to be creative.

*358 - 2 recipes

For Zhu and Sandhya and anyone else who wants to bake yummy things, here are the recipes. Typed them out according to how I made them, not the original recipes, because I didn't keep those. If you want the original recipe, just add a bit more butter and sugar because I always cut down :P But I think they were fine my way! Haha (:

Chocolate SURPRISE cookies! (:
(Makes 25-30)

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
1/3 cup chocolate chips

3/4 cup confectioner's sugar
3/4 cup peanut butter

Directions:
1. Filling: mix confectioner's sugar and 3/4 cup peanut butter. Chill.
2. Mix flour, cocoa, baking soda.
3. Beat sugar, butter, 1/4 cup peanut butter until light and fluffy. Beat in vanilla and egg. Stir in flour mixture and chocolate chips.
4. Roll filling into about 30 balls. Shape about 1 tbsp dough around a peanut butter ball. Flatten slightly.
5. Bake at 375 degrees F for 7-9 minutes.

My comments:
Original recipe had 1 cup sugar and no chocolate chips. But reading reviews, I heard the cookie part wasn't chocolatey enough hence the added chocolate. Also cut down on the 1/2 cup butter slightly (I used about 90 to 100g, if that's easier for you). Also found the filling to be wayyyy too much and halfway through the cookie you would feel very jelat, so maybe you can reduce the filling to 1/2 cup each. And make the balls smaller in size.


Chocolate SURPRISE cupcakes! (:
(Makes 18 smallish ones)

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
1/3 cup veggie oil
1 tbsp white vinegar
1 tsp vanilla extract

4 ounces cream cheese
1 egg
1/6 cup sugar
1/16 tsp salt
1/2 cup chocolate chips

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Beat cream cheese, egg, sugar, salt. Stir in chocolate chips.
3. Mix flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, salt. Add water, oil, vinegar, vanilla. Stir well.
4. Spoon in 1 tbsp batter, then 1 tbsp cream cheese mixture, then cover tops with remaining batter.
5. Bake 25-30 min.

My comments:
The measurements are a bit weird (1/16 teaspoon??) because I halved the original cream cheese mixture recipe. If not I found that there was wayyyy too much cream cheese. Of course that could be just me, and if you think it's just me, you can follow the original by doubling the amount of cream cheese mixture and keeping the muffin batter amount the same.


Both happen to be chocolatey & "surprising" recipes hehe. Have fun and tell me if you like them! (:

*357 - believe

One of my rare savoury, non-dessert baking attempts: Baked pork with apple slices, sprinkled with cinnamon and brown sugar. Pork and apples go together really nicely!

-

Firefly assessment today was hellish. I'm off to look into study loans etc because all hopes of getting a scholarship have been vanquished.

I'm actually really sad about this but I don't even want to think about it anymore. Spare me the torture of having to relive today please.

-

Whited because I realise it could be a sensitive issue.

I realised that by hanging on to all the acceptances, I'm depriving people of a place in the universities. I actually didn't think I was, until Amy mentioned that she was on the waiting list for a particular US university. And I was like OOPS I think it's people like me who are making other hopeful people around the world wait in nervous anticipation while I obliviously go about my life ignoring the (almost) daily letters and parcels from the various universities that I am going to reject, but haven't, because of sheer, inexcusable laziness.

Will get that done soon.

Note to self: also settle housing.

-


Strawberries are pretty but strawberries are sometimes sour. But I learnt a trick from Mr Boss, which is to sprinkle the sour ones with a bit of icing sugar. I love how the chopped bits look so ridiculously red in this photo; I suspect it has something to do with the sunlight shining cheerily on them.

And since we had strawberries, I decided to make dessert crepes!




Strawberry slices, melty chocolate chips, and a dusting of sugar folded into a crisp, piping hot crepe. These were such a hit that everyone downed a few at once, and the crepes disappeared faster than they could even be made.

-

"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."

Mark 11:24

*356 - chocolate flavoured pebbles

It's been a while since I've baked cookies, and it's been a while since I've made such complicated cookies!




(These look like a particular rock formation to me - even The Geography Major couldn't tell me what those things were called, anyone has any idea? Haha!)

"Complicated? But they're just regular double chocolate chip cookies!"


Surprise! (: They're not just double chocolate chip cookies, they're double chocolate chip cookies with peanut butter centers! They remind me of Reeses peanut butter cups (which are one of the most heavenly candies on earth). Sweet creamy peanut butter chunks enclosed in a chocolatey cookie shell. Yum yum yum.


Cute (:

Making them involved more manual labour than cookies normally require, but it was well worth it.

-

"Having few resources, we have to be resourceful. Being small, we have to think big."
How do you think Singapore can "think big"?

Damn. I haven't created a powerpoint presentation in ages and ages. Not sure how to do up those professional looking ones either. I had better ace the "interview" on Friday, because it's the only scholarship board that would dream of funding me for my course.

-

SMU business interview yesterday. It's quite funny because everyone who hears that I'm going for the SMU interview goes "huh?" Yeah, I know I have already submitted my acceptance and am in the process of acquiring a student visa to study in USA and settling my boarding issues, etc. But I applied to both NUS and SMU anyway, to go through the interviews for the experience. And having a backup plan is always safe.

But I do think SMU's going to reject me, and if they don't, it has to be because of my results and not because of the interview. Hahaha.

I went in with a very terrible attitude of "I don't need a place, I just want to gain some experience from this interview". So we sat down in the group of 9, read an article on foreigners intimidating Singaporeans, and discussed it. After a while I was so annoyed at all the people in my group that I just gave up and rolled my eyes at them and shut up.

Maybe it's the nature of the interview, to make you speak up and get attention, but everyone was so overly pretentious. It's fine to speak up about your view, but there's no need to shout it out and pretend to be extremely emotional about your viewpoint and defend it like everyone else's opinion is wrong. Everyone was so vehement and somewhat arrogant and it turned into an argument of sorts and I was just ... disgusted. At the pretence. I mean, a lively discussion would be great, but not when everything's so forced and everyone's clamouring for attention.

There was one part where I nearly burst out laughing though. This particularly annoying boy was going on and on about how horrible foreigners' attitudes were (???) and when he was finally done, a guy from the corner spoke up, and to my amusement, I realised that he was a foreigner from China! Hahaha.

Wrote a ridiculous essay on the importance of enthusiasm (of all things), without any of the said enthusiasm. Reached the word limit in about half the time given, was the first to hand in the essay and leave.

Horrible.

Edit (in the evening):

EH SO FAST.

"Congratulations! You have been offered a place at SMU."

Hahaha, ha, oh no.

-

Time's flying by real quick. It's been, what, 5 months since we started playing, and I have 4 months before I leave this place for 4 years.

Now that's scary.

-

Sometimes, I just sit down alone. Lost in my own random thoughts. And cry. Like the crybaby we all know I am.

Do you realise that I'm not happy?

*355 - i. need. sleep.

Chocolate Cream Cheese Cupcakes! Alliteration (:



The cream cheese filling was meant to be a hidden surprise, but the cupcakes rose and exploded, and I think they look awfully cute like that.

Absolutely delicious! I love the chocolate chips hidden in the cream cheese hidden in the chocolate cupcake. Funny SMS from Mummy who sampled them when I wasn't around: "Hi I like the muffin. The best so far. The cheese goes very well with the chocolate."

Hooray (:



The recipe was a little weird though. I halved the recipe initially (I don't like to bake too many of one thing, in case it fails) but ended up with twice as much cream cheese filling as I needed. So in the end I had to make the halved cupcake mixture again to use up the rest of cream cheese. But I needn't have worried because the cupcakes were all gobbled up in, what, 2 days? Wonderful (:

-

I'm sounding a lot livelier than I actually am. Today wasn't a great day and my grouchiness showed through a few times. Boohoo.

Woke up at 5 something in the morning on Friday, performed for two schools, went for work, worked until 2.30 am, slept at 4, woke up early today to go to RJ for dance, danced till 5, gave 413 gathering a miss, nearly fell asleep eating, uh, lunch at 6 pm.

The lack of sleep certainly gets to me. And little things that wouldn't bother me normally bothered me today. Like seeing only 7 people turn up for alumni prac. (I know everyone has perfectly valid reasons for not being able to make it, and getting grumpy doesn't make sense, but.) Or when I had to waste money to cab home because I was too tired to make it back by bus. (Excuses, I know, but.) Or when I had to ____. (It might just be psychological, but.) Or when I didn't get to ____. (I oughtn't anyway, but.)

-

The RJ Chinese Dance SYF item is very very beautiful. Very. I'm so impressed, and I'm so impressed by their dedication.

-

I should be sleeping.

*354 - peacock

3 down, 2 to go. For this week at least, and then I don't know when we would next perform.


(Bad lighting, cluttered backstage.)

Sawatdeekaaaaa! The Thai fingernail dance. Xinqin and I, minus the other two. Peacock fingers and buddha poses. Hmm hmm.


Annyonghasayyo! (I think, at least, that's what I vaguely recall from my Korea trip - or does that mean goodbye, or I love you? Oops haha.) Korean dancers Cheryl and HJ.

I love performing for primary schools ... the kids are so wonderfully innocent, and they participate in all the games with such gusto and completely unabashedly! I thought it was awfully cute the way they would raise their hands and run onto stage regardless of whether or not they knew the correct answers.

Me: How about that little boy in the corner over there? -gestures-
About 5 little boys in the corner stand up and run towards the stage.
Me: Oops, I only need one volunteer, but I'll let you all have a chance to answer ... Do you know the answer?
Little Boy #1: Japan?
Me: Oh I'm sorry that's not the right answer ... how about you?
Little Boy #2: Japan?
Me: Uh, that's still not correct.

So cute heeheehee (:

-

Discovered a quaint little HK restaurant near my place, with and an interesting selection of food and drinks.

But the most amazing thing was that my bag (bright pink and green) matched the walls (bright pink and green) perfectly!! Hahaha.



Check this out: Ribena with lemon (mine), coke with coffee (his). Mine tasted pretty normal, his didn't.



And crispy spherical noodles with an egg balancing on the top! Smashing. (I love that word hahaha.)



-

I have a strange, tender spot on my arm.

-

Off to work. It's raining though. Rain is lovely when you're indoors, but it's not when you have to step outside.

*353 - love shaped

Voila, the final product.

If you had 24 hours to live.

-

Just 15 seconds of skimming my eyes over it got me tearing.

I wanted to take a closer look but I know I'll cry if I do.

I realise there's one person I really don't understand - it's myself. How can anyone possibly ____ but still ____? I used to raise my eyebrow at people like that.

I think what it means is that I need a time out, I need to drop everything I have, I need to wait till the turbulence dies down, I need to wait, and listen, and listen to my heart, and listen to God, until I can find peace in whatever I'm doing.

But I can't drop everything now. And what's stopping me isn't really me, it's, you.

-

On a completely different note, I made apricot muffins! Experimented with the recipe. I split the batter into half, and made one batch of normal apricot muffins and one batch of double chocolate apricot muffins. Both were yummy, but I think I didn't stir the double chocolate ones well enough because some of them were almost devoid of apricots while others had a nice amount.


I love the colour contrast (: And also the adorable way the apricots pushed their way out of the tops of the muffins.




Guess what I was trying to do with the last muffin? Haha! It was my hearty attempt to create love-shaped muffins. Sadly, they turned out to be fortune-cookie-shaped muffins instead. Haha.

*352 - evelyns

"5. our 'xiao' evelyn has kindly written e synopsis for our dance and our 'da' evelyn spent much time and effort amidst her busy schedule to take the photo for e programme booklet. pls see attached. thank you very much, our lovely eveeees!!!"

Xinqin is SO CUTE omg. Hehehe.

*351 - choose!

[Edit]: For the curious, number TWO won!

The silhouette photos, pre-intensive-editing. Ignore the silly curtains, tiled floor and pots of flowers in the background. Those will go, of course!

Alumni, which photo do you want to represent our item in the program booklet? Hope the photos are okay, not sure if they're what you had in mind. Quick msg me, I have to submit today. Thanks (:

*350 - monkey

See how Mummy Monkey is hugging Baby Monkey! Sweet (:

The monkeys fascinated me, but scared me at the same time. Do they bite?

*349 - escapism

Dancing's sometimes a form of escapism for me. More often than not, I don't exactly have anything to escape from, but nowadays losing myself in dance is a good way to hide from my, um, woes. Not that I dance to run away from them, but when I dance, there's no space in my unable-to-multitask little pea brain to worry about anything else really.

I also saturate real fast and cannot retain too many dance moves in my, again, little pea brain, over too short a period. Maybe it's deteriorating from the lack of usage. Haha!




With Sarah and Little Evelyn (who looks too cute to be true how come I never look as cute sigh), all ravenous from a full day of dancing. We're taking turns to pose with our (very yummy) desserts, which isn't the coolest thing to do, but oh heck (: We ate till it hurt!

Danced the whole day (morning to evening) today, and I'm awfully proud of the 3 boys (Bryan Des Derrick) for their very noticeable improvement. And it turned out that the boys were even more nitpicky than the girls when it came to correcting each other's movements. They even noticed when Cat and I had our toes placed in minutely different positions, and when I say minutely, I mean literally 1 inch difference. Hehe.

And! Cat & I tried bomb prata today, after we ventured out of school to run errands during lunch break, which turned out to be painfully sweet prata filled with honey and condensed milk. Not very nice honestly, but exciting! Bomb leh!

-

The only problem was that I didn't give you a chance.

Now it's too late.

I'm so sorry.

-

Yes, moodswinging wildly from one extreme to the other. Extreme hyper moments like during the birth of my latest business idea (!!!), extreme low moments like when ____ and ____.

-

I really really need to go to church tomorrow. As in, I really can't wait. Even though I think I'll end up going alone. But that's okay too.

Always keeping my eyes peeled, heart open, arms stretched, ears um cleaned, for guidance from my Daddy God.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
- Romans 8:31

I'm in good hands. (:

*348 - only you

Yawn. Was supposed to work until 11 last night, but ended up staying till 2.30 because of the insane crowd. Long weekend because of Good Friday, I suppose. Had a number of impatient customers who complained so much in such a typically Singaporean way, that I felt like informing them that we had one poor barista churning out drinks for tables of customers who had arrived way before them (for example one table of 20 people, almost all of whom ordered drinks) and we were already being remarkably fast (thanks to Mr Boss who popped down to help the barista) and so I'm really sorry that you've had to wait more than 15 minutes and perhaps you would be so kind to excuse me to serve the rest of the 1097651 customers instead of calling me over to complain for the fifth time thank you very much.

But of course I didn't.

Tried my best to serve them promptly with my most winning smile because nasty as they were I never want people to leave with a bad impression, but they were pretty rude to me as they left in the end.

Oh well.

Now I appreciate waiters & waitresses a lot more, and I leave tips everywhere I go, because oftentimes you don't realise it but great service experiences don't depend solely on the quality of the product but also how much effort goes into making you smile.

Anyway.

-

Woke up 4 hours later to go to school to dance, which was really quite productive although hardly anyone was there, and we really should have taken before and after videos of the dancing because the boys made extraordinary improvement over those few hours and I'm quite delighted. Thumbs up to Bryan and Desmond! (: And Cat for alllll the help, and for Taylor the latte boy! (: (: (:

-

It broke my heart, really, to hear you say "I guess we won't be talking for a while now". Almost every single time I talk to you, I end up bawling, because to put it simply, I miss you, and only you can truly understand the reason why I'm doing things the way I am, and why we have to be "just friends", and now, why we have to stop talking at least until we can talk again as "just friends", and only you can truly understand all that without judgement or blame, and only you can forgive me for all the unforgiveable things I did to you.

What a strange convoluted situation.

Nothing's quite right about it.

But time heals, God heals, and one day my pillows won't be wet and salty anymore. After all, You make everything good, everything beautiful, You make me see the only thing that's true, it's You. To jump onto the words of one of the songs from little Evelyn's dance. (: Angelic song with angelic steps! Love it.

Anyway, it's easy to get through life and all the down moments, when you know that everything will be okay in the end because He makes everything good. (:

Let go, let God.

Yeah.

-


I perfected my apple streusel muffins and I do think they were quite glorious this time round, with their sweet streusel tops and chunky apple & reduced sugar insides. Except that they're only good to eat freshly baked, because the streusel becomes moist the next day thanks to the darned Singapore humidity.


On the receiving end of my bakies (:

-

And by the way, if anyone knows anyone who is enrolling in Cornell University this fall, please let me know, even if it's obvious that I wouldn't know that somebody. Thank you so much!