*1290 - little happy events

I feel like I'm breaking up, with multiple (figurative) boyfriends that represent various facets of my life.  Thankfully the real life version is still awaiting me patiently in SF.  But what a mix of emotions!  Passion, hate, comfort, unease, longing, dread.  Push, pull.  Up, down.

But there are always things in your day to be thankful for, even if it was an otherwise sucky one.  Always, if you try!  It's ok if they're small; it doesn't mean they're insignificant.  Give it a shot.  For me, a few of today's happy moments:

• Got a beast of a survey launched!
• Compliments all around on my outfit, including two men who noticed my shoes; imagine that!  I don't care about their opinion per se, it's just the concept that men, especially those with no history of being particularly fashion-conscious, never notice shoes.  Therefore my shoes must truly be awesome.  Either that or very inappropriate for work, in Bentonville.  Shrug, it is almost synonymous.
• Oreos and milk for breakfast.  Who said that was bad for you?  Then cauliflower for lunch.  I love cauliflower.
• Day 2 of making my way through the four amazingly delicious giant cookie bricks that my Superwoman sent in the mail.  I'm 2/3 way through the first one ... this might take a while.  That is a good thing.
• Overcame severe phobia of drive through's especially after yesterday's failed attempt where I bravely got all the way into the lane, hyperventilated, pulled out of the line, parked, and walked right in to make my order in person.  Today I summed up my courage and tried again at a coffee shop and this time successfully left with a macchiato!!
• Discovered my new favorite expression of excitement: wewp wewp
• Making exciting weekend plans, making exciting following weekend plans, making exciting following following weekend plans, wewp wewp.

And a sudden realization as I come to the end of my list that I've been with my love for three years.  Yes I only just realised as I was typing this list because I'm bad with dates and I always think time periods are so arbitrary anyway.  What is one year, or one month, or one week really?  We would all be celebrating different important events if we had decided a year was 465 days instead.  Anyway we picked "mid-Jan" vaguely because the progression from friend to more was ambiguous at that time.  Well then!  Clearly something to be very thankful for :)

And clearly with someone who thinks along the same lines as I do as his response to my hurried "happy anniversary" text wasn't "asdlkfja;sldkfj I know you forgot"--his response was "cool 3 yrs".  This is why we were meant to be.

Cool.

*1289 - helpless

Pit in tummy,
Physically feeling ill from a purely psychological worry,
Helplessness,
Knowing you potentially screwed up royally.

It's intriguing how the mind and the body link up so directly like that.

But the only thing I can do is distract myself from my mistake because I cannot undo it.

alkldsfhal;;lkajflal;gasaa.

Work woes.

*1288 - i surprise me

Today, I managed to give myself a dinner surprise.  I set out meaning to make fried rice with sauteed chicken on the side--simple.  A sudden twist in events midway through as I was setting my freshly cooked plain rice aside and stirring chicken and veggies in a pan resulted in me suddenly finding myself with a steaming pot of chicken noodle soup that really hits the spot on this cold wintry day.  And now I have spare brown rice in the freezer ready for use in future.

Sometimes you just gotta follow the tummy and not the mind when cooking!