In a bid to stay awake so I can pick D up from the airport tonight at 1 am, I was looking through photos from the past month or so and chanced upon these, taken just before I left:
NOOOOO our poor Poka, stuck in a kitty hotel. She was scared even before the journey to the hotel started (unrelated reason) and I'm sure is having a miserable time adjusting because she is, as most cats are, extremely adverse to change :(
I feel like a bad Mummy, leaving my baby behind for two whole weeks. But it's best to put her in a professional establishment where they know how to look after scared kitties since this was a long trip. I hope she remembers us and decides to like us again when we retrieve her. Russian Blues are supposed to be very loyal to their owners so that does give me a bit of hope, but but but what if she has a bad memory or bears grudges or is emotionally scarred?? You'll never know!! Aiiyeeeeee.
TONIGHT the boy sets foot on this little island. It's happening!! I can scarcely believe it. Pictures and stories and pseudo Singaporean food abroad by means of packet mixes/sadly inauthentic restaurants can help, but nothing comes close to understanding my roots and my motherland by experiencing everything in person, obviously. Expecting to have a sleepy, sweaty, sunburnt, salivating (from overly-spicy food) D in my hands for the next couple of weeks. Hurrah!
Today, I meet my almost a year old first ever nephew (!) for the first time ever (!), and carried/touched a baby for the first time ever in my life (!). The Aunty Evelyn-Timmy moment lasted all of five glorious seconds with everyone around me trying to say reassuring things like "carry baby is automatic one don't worry" and "rely on instinct, yes, your instinct" etc. before both of us chickened out and I swiftly returned him to mum. I promise I'll get better at this with my own child.
"I don't know, I'm as scared as you are Timmy, this is all happening too quickly, I'm not ready for this, are you sure you want me to hold your child"
"Instinct?? Heh heh heh are you sure what if my instincts are wrong oh no baby incoming"
"Oh hi Timmy I'm carrying you all by myself this isn't that bad is it"
"Ok we both want out aiieiiayiiihhhhaaaaahhahhahahelp"
And ok, let's just be totally objective here for a moment. Aunty-dom and blood relations aside. You have to agree that Timmy is a handsome young chap. I'm seeing my brother in him which is terrific because my brother's a handsome young chap as well. He's a terrifically happy baby with great elasticity of facial expressions and from what I hear is growing up to be a little professor in the making! Am such a proud Aunty :)
Was just chatting with my little namesake today (most lovely!!) over prata (kosong, egg, with milo dino!!) and decided it was time to say something about my hobby in hiding over the past couple of years (on and off). I started in Boston for a couple of months as some friends do know, took a long break, and started again mid this year. Didn't really mention it to anyone publicly in case any of the higher ups at work were not in approval oh heavens please no, hear me out first.
Dancing has always been so much a part of my life, something that began as a choice when I was a wee little brat (no really I was quite the brat), that took a different acrobatic turn when I was 12 in the form of rhythmic gymnastics, that went pretty mainstream with the jazz and the lyrical jazz classes throughout, and then took a more cognitive, intellectual, and experimental turn when I studied it in college. So movement, music, athleticism in the form of dance, is a part of me and it's not going to be taken from me due to external pressures or perceptions.
Well so anyway that was my disclaimer to my newest hobby, pole dancing. Yes, it is becoming more mainstream especially in Australia and the US, a little in Singapore I hear. Just a handful of years ago, the pole dancer was associated with sleaze and kinkiness and strippers and red light districts and general behavior you would want to hide from your boss at work in a professional setting. But thankfully nowadays the perceptions are changing and the art form itself is changing.
The studio I study at is terrific and I'm very thankful to have found it after several missed tries. If forced, I can do an excellent booty roll and a solid sultry walk around the pole. But none of that interests me and I certainly do not feel empowered by erotic dancing. No no no thank you. This studio allows me to focus much more on technique and developing my pole skills as an art form, and that's the direction I really want pole to move towards as more people get educated about what it truly can be. Because I really think it's beautiful. You'll be hard-pressed to find skanky slithering on floor, stripper heels, etc. in many top-notch pole competitions around the world. There's a lot more consciousness of it as acrobatics and dance and art.
Now if learning how to be sexy with movement is something that will empower you and something that sounds like fun, by all means! Pole is a great way to learn to do that (and is a very impressive skill to have). But I'm just saying that my personal preference is to study it as purely acrobatic while leveraging my grace, flexibility, dance background minus the sexy part which I'm just not comfortable with.
And by the way, pole dancers are typically dressed minimally whether with skanky intentions or not, because exposed skin is the best way to create friction with the pole--the only way you're able to do all those cool tricks on the pole. It's all about body placement and finding the right piece of skin to grip the pole with, places like upper thighs (hence the little bottoms) and around the torso (hence the little tops).
Anyhoo, I had my very first little recital back a month and it was so much fun! I was the baby of the recital in that I had only been studying it more seriously for a couple of months, so our routine was quite simple and involved a lot of dancing around and just a few of my best tricks on the pole which were nothing to brag about at all. Still, I was proud of us for the very brave attempt! We also got to perform alongside Miss Pole Japan, Yukari! She was so beautiful and tiny in person! And watching her perform in person was so much more amazing than watching her on Youtube, the audience was gasping with hands over mouths, but anyway this is her:
Can you believe that she was there performing with us? Starstruck *.* (that's my little emoticon demonstrating extreme starstruckedness). She was apparently recently headhunted by Cirque du Soleil. Holy moly. Well I am excited to learn more and get better at this! It's such a great physical challenge, I really enjoy it.
Anyhoo, here are a few pictures of me in my little routine which I'm sure provided excellent contrast to Yuakri's ridiculously awesome one ;) Photo credits to Mirage Visions, as seen in the watermark.
At the airport, sick in a very discernible and mucusy way, flight already delayed 1.5 hours, with clam chowder in my hair. Not off to a great start here but at least I'm on the way to the place I still call home.
To the poor soul who has the misfortune of sitting beside me on the flight: I sincerely apologize that you are stuck with both a middle seat as well as me on your left, and wish your immune system the very best of luck.
I close my eyes and imagine the dark hills I would have to cross / to reach you. For I am in love with you / and this is what it is like or what it is like in words.
Carol Ann Duffy
When I grow up, I'd like to be a cream puff. A cream puff with apricots, or even a plain one. Lukewarm at the bakery. In the window.
