*206 - C*** fan, hoho.

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A big thank you to everybody who asked if I was ok, whether through a phone call or SMS or online. Or the tagboard in Syuan's case haha. Really appreciate it (: I'm fine, I'm just puzzled cos I haven't figured out what crime I could possibly have committed unknowingly to incur such wrath. Going to talk to Ms Lim if I can today, and then I'll look for her, and see what happens lah.

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Teachers shouldn't be allowed to terrorise their students like that.

So damn upset today.

I don't know why she's so furious at me. I really don't know what I did. It can't be just because I got the address wrong and requested for the envelope to paste the correct address over, right?

Maybe I talked too loudly in class on the last day of school while she was having her consultation sessions. But even that minor little offence doesn't warrant a reaction like that. A complete change of expression from giggly and happy to sullen and pissed off the moment she saw me. Couldn't even face me to talk to me. Which meant I couldn't hear what she was mumbling about towards the opposite direction, which forced me to say "Sorry?", which resulted in her yelling at me, in the canteen.

I was so shocked and upset after that that I had a crisis in the handicap toilet while Justin paced outside for more than half an hour (poor, poor boy). And so we missed Chem revision lecture, whoops.

Subconsciously noticed that when I cry, I am unglam to the max. Everything turns red and swollen, even my lips, which is quite a mystery. I mean, I understand that my eyes and nose get red and swollen. But my lips??

Whoops, out of point. Anyway.

Looked for her "after her lunch" as instructed (or more accurately, as yelled at). Nobody picked up the phone. Sent random teachers in to check if she was there. They came out saying she was busy. Stayed till evening just trying to contact her. At the end, finally got through her phone, and someone else informed me that she had gone home.

Thank you very much.

I'm just worried that she'll write me a bad recommendation. Teacher's evaluations are so damn important in US universities, especially in those where everybody who's applying gets 4A's and 2D's and what sets you apart from the rest is your essays and your teachers' essays. It's so easy for her to tick, tick, tick in the wrong columns and jeopardise any chance I have of getting into any US university.

Suggestions, anyone? Bribe her with earrings? (Actually maybe I really should make for her and Ms Lim! Won't that be nice? :D ) Switch referee?

I guess I just have to leave it in God's hands. Mummy just came in to pray for me after I ranted and raved over dinner. (And brought along the "there can be miracles" song for me to listen to, so cute hehehe <3) I'll try my best to be nice to her despite this, and try my best to believe that under the nasty exterior she still has a generous heart. God works miracles, whether I am to get into any university or not, it is His will, and if I don't get accepted, it just means that there's something better out there waiting for me. I'm in good hands, I know.

I mean, I know it, but it's hard to remember sometimes.

Sigh.

(Everybody, please pray with me that she doesn't blog surf and find this. Hehe! I'm not so much angry, but more perplexed, and upset that I might have a bad recommendation from her. If I don't get into a university, I want to be rejected because they honestly don't need me, not because of a bad reference. I want to be her pet student (haha) again because I don't want to leave a bitter taste in her mouth forever, but right now it is more urgent that I get a good recommendation from her, and that's why I'm harping on it so much.)

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In other news, completely dumped one of my essays and rewrote another on a completely different topic. The previous one made me cringe, and that's never a good sign.

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Wah so scary. Daddy just said to tell him what happens when I go talk to her tomorrow, and if anything really really bad happens he'll go have a chat with his pal, Winston. Heh heh. But don't worry it won't come to that lah. She's actually pretty nice if you're in her good books! Which means she's fully capable of being kind.

Nice, democratic me.