*947 - dreams

The first thing I think about when I stir from my sleep is "what did I dream about last night?"--a habit formed from dream journalling (the first step towards lucid dreams, they say).

The past week's dreams have been heavy with frustration, panic, insecurity, sadness, general misery. When I am awake, my head swims from the dichotomy of emotions my heart feels. I am pulled this way and that, shoved, prodded, dragged, left alone, shaken.

Half the day goes by in a pretense. But which half?

I dread and I long and I am quite frightened.

*945 - Christmas

... For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

- Luke 2:10-11

Blessed Christmas to all! 'Tis the season for joyful giving and merriness over enormous Christmas feasts, but above all, to remember the greatest gift--the gift of life and life in abundance because He lived to die for us.

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*944 - work play

As if spending twelve hours a day together in the same office isn't quite enough, we do things like chill out over beers and chat till 5 in the morning on the weekends. The coworkers also feature regularly in my nightly dreams--this essentially means that I spend almost all my waking (and sleeping) moments with them. While this sounds depressing, I'm actually rather content.

And also because we do things like chat till 5 in the morning, I am now at the airport with 1.5 hours of sleep after a sleep-deprived week at work, trying to keep myself awake with a cold, overpriced ham and brie sandwich that I don't actually want to eat. Zzz.

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*943 - bedraggled

To accompany the below post, here's what I looked like at the end of the night, when I left my brolly in the T.



I was actually much wetter and more miserable than I look.

DON'T LIKE RAIN (when I'm outdoors).

*942 - rain or snow?

Which do I prefer? Torrential rains but relative warmth, or lovely dry snow but painful cold? Rain is probably the lesser of two evils, but I'm bedraggled with soggy toes at the moment--can't wait for the powerful moment several hours from now when I get to kick off my knee-high boots and unleash the soggy mustiness within. Ugh.

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*941 - gorgeous!

In my humble Asian opinion, the Eastern European girls are asdfhjklhjk beautiful! Danced the night away, probably damaged my eardrums and ruptured my vocal chords, and will soon nurse the hangover away with fried chicken and more drinks.

Ah, weekends.

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*940 - sweet dreams are made of this

What you can't achieve in reality can come true in your dreams. Sometimes, it's such a disappointment to wake up from the sweetest of sweet dreams, and then slowly realising as you blink the sleep out of your eyes that life isn't all cotton candy and bunnies and little yellow daisies and today, well, today is going to be just another day.

(It's alright, I don't like cotton candy anyway!)

*939 - girly musings

My new favorite (favourite? There are some things I spell British on purpose because they look better; most other things I spell American when I am here because I don't want people to go ??!?!!!$!%?!?, but whenever I do, I feel like I'm betraying my roots. Anyway, my new favorite) hairstyle is to go to sleep with damp, braided hair, and then to bunch it messily into the characteristic Evelyn-style low side ponytail, but now with lovely crinkly hair!

Like so. Sans chubby face and uncomfortable pose and awkwardly cropped photo to exclude friend (just in case she doesn't want to feature).



And because this photo is related. If it doesn't appear now, it never will! At my company's holiday party = us before I head down and inhale twenty flutes of champagne. Yum.



-

Also, my first purchase from Asos! Free shipping and returns to/from the US, how not to resist?? Bought 4.5 items, returned 3 (undies count as 0.5). Wonderful. I just inspired myself to peruse the site, even though I ought to be in slumberland by now.

-

My camera-wielding, narcissistic self-portrait days seem to have waned away. The main reason, possibly, is because I see myself as far less attractive than I used to see myself back then. Back then when I was at least 15 pounds lighter and very unappreciative of the fact. Hahaha.

I say this as I pig out on a very unncecssary post-dinner bowl of cranberry almond cereal.

Obviously, I could try harder.

*938 - the inaugural (perhaps?) winter-related post

The lake is freezing over, the geese are huddling, the Boston sky released its first mini-flurry, and the sun is on its evening descent now, at 3 pm. The Evelyn is uncommonly slothlike and unreasonably worried (about the flurry--harbinger of leaky nose and ... popsicle toes).

It's official. It's here.

Brrrr.

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*937 - lights out

As if to spite me, just because I leave work at 2.30 am--of course, tonight is the best night of all nights for the electricity on my entire street to go out. From 1 to 6 am, I think they said. I just stabbed my eyes in the dark trying to remove my contacts, and have given up all hopes of having a nice hot shower before I have to rise and shine in a couple of hours. Yucky.

Well, since there is not much else I can do without electricity, I guess this is it--goodnight, world!

*936 - spinning

The past two weeks have been draining, to say the least. I've been troubled.

But very thankful--for friends, family, and boy--for two weeks worth of answering 2 am phone calls and going for 2 am walks, for chatting and texting me to sleep from all over the world, for nighttime cuddles and nuzzles to keep me safe, for all the much-needed company.

*935 - good morning

My lovely good morning scare a thoughtful friend left for me.



After getting over the shock of being confronted at work by a snarling rat in my mug, I developed a mild fondness towards it, and we eventually ended up naming it.

Behold. Lord Lionel Bruno Primrose; Rosy for short!

*934 - where is my zzz monster?

The luxuries of being a temporary insomniac include brisk midnight walks round the neighborhood, 5 am scrabble, catching up with West coast people (3 hours behind), catching up with people from Singapore (12 hours ahead), being able to blog before going to work ...

That said, sleeping a mere few hours each day for 5 days in a row is going to take its toll on my body eventually.

*933 - saturday brunch

And yet again, the weekend (well, just Saturday for now) was a beautiful and sunny day. (This continues to confirm my theory that all weekends are beautiful and sunshiney, despite gloomy weekdays.)

Perhaps the most delicious brunches I've had: lobster eggs benedicts at Cafe Luna up in Cambridge. Cute little cafe with sometimes more than an hour waits that are completely worthwhile, the most darling host you can imagine, crayons as entertainment as you hungrily await your food, and deliciousness that will make you explode with delight. Besides their fabulous eggs benedicts, their french toasts are too ridiculously good to describe--pumpkin pie stuffed? Oh yeah. Mm hmm.

*932 - on evelyn's to do list

* Bring the little bug to the car doctor: almost time for winter tires!
* Get new cushions and toss out the gunky ones
* Try harder to leave work early for dance classes
* Attempt capoeira with N
* Get a pair of goggles (for chlorine to stop hurting my eyes) and a better body (for me to stop hurting your eyes)
* Curb unhealthy addiction to wasabi peas and yogurt covered peanuts
* Stop cooking two portions and eating both instead of saving one
* Buy more shampoo and conditioner instead of rationing the remainder
* Remember not to be sucked into the routine of working life
* Remember that the last person I want to hurt is you
* Remember the beautiful, beautiful things that keep me happy
* Point out the beautiful, beautiful things that keep others happy

To do. ASAP.

*931 - grapes for the third time

I am only harping on it for the third time because I finally found a (blurry) photo of myself in grape-do!



This was when we decided to abandon our area and go in a squeaky group to check out what other colleagues were doing. And this is us being distracted by a baby in a fuzzy monkey outfit with a fuzzy banana, weeping over his inability to chew the grape we gave him (not enough teeth yet), except that you can't see him at all, because our balloons are in the way.

*930 - evelyn's mid-evening snack.

Don't you take my peas away from me.

*929 - liver

Ouchies, my liver hurts. (Ok, it's probably just my tummy.)

Yesterday saw me, the truest bluest Asian in the entire room, at my virgin karaoke experience. I think we mightn't have had to go so far with the pre-gaming to ease the assumed pain that karaoke would cause me—but it honestly wasn’t bad at all, especially if one isn’t forced against one’s will to sing songs one doesn’t know!

Adjourned to the bar down the street, where fire extinguishers were knocked clean off the walls, sticky shots were spilled into my coat sleeves, ridiculous (but not regrettable) texts were sent, etc. Living a mere ten minute trot away was most appreciated at the end of the night (only applicable to myself, hoho), and the fact that boys insist on walking me home puzzled me a great deal as always (why go through the trouble if there is no question in my mind that I would be able to walk down the road I walk down ever so often to make it to my apartment?).

[Edit: Mr. A told me not to reject those offers and scared me with tales of forcible touchings, so maybe I will reconsider.]

Lovely night, though the thought of partying with colleagues still fazes me a tad, but it seems to be very much a norm here—our work is far too intense and time-consuming to allow us to maintain any sort of normal friendships with people outside of work, so everyone at work is best friends with each other. Haha! And the fact that we are all creepily alike in so many ways (though that is to be expected).

Off to find something in my fridge that will be gentle on the tummy ...

[Edit: 7 pm the day after and texts back and forth have confirmed that Colleague #1 is still feeling ill and Colleague #2 is still suffering in headacheyness. Excellent; this means I'm not as weak as I had assumed.]

*928 - awkward shower moment

Me, in the shower. Him, somewhere in the bathroom, shaving/flossing/etc. Both, hurried, getting ready for a fab night out.

Me: (With great joy, and loudly so that he could hear me through the shower door, exclaimed something to the effect of) "MMM it feels so good, I can't stop (showering)!"

Him: (Awkward silence)

Reason: Unbeknown to me, a party of sorts had just arrived at the apartment and was milling around just outside the bathroom.

Conclusion: I managed to deftly slip out unnoticed, ninja-like.

The end!

*927 - another weekend in ithaca

This is what the inside of a car looks like during a car wash.
Also, observe my little gerbera that keeps me company.



'Twas lovely seeing the dance troupe again. Early morning arabesques and hugs all around!



Perhaps the Most Delicious Dinner I've had in ages/ever: Steak Diane



... Cooked by Mr. A himself! So very, very proud :)





Drunken photo: the fanciest (chopstick) rings!



One thing I refuse to eat: raw onion.
I forgot to request my bagel without, but they do make a pretty photo.



Very much a favorite: sweet potato fries. Drooool.

*926 - how we groove

In PJ's, fists in circular motion, very vigorously and very seriously, to blasting house music.

*925 - purple as a ... grape!

Answer to Halloween costume #1: purple grapes for the girls, green for the boys! Unwieldy, squeaky, and most hilarious. The kiddies loved us, and I'm now thoroughly upset that I missed out on Halloween as a child!

*924 - ?

Perhaps I am too sensitive, but, girlies, I'm not oblivious.

I miss home and everyone associated with home. Or college and the people who mattered.

*923 - clothed couches

Mostly for Mr. A, because he likes it when I document my furniture-related activities in photographs for him.

New old couch #1:



Very cutely shaped, but disappointingly frumpy fabric design.

Watch as it is transformed! Images of me being silly on the newly clothed couch in an attempt to distract you from the wrinkliness of the new slipcover (please straighten yourself out ASAP, thanks).



(My goal was to create a stop motion-ish sequence of photos, but I don't think I took enough in-betweens, so it looks like a poor-quality gif, which it indeed is. I tried.)

New old couch #2:



Cute and fat, pleasant design, but sadly stained with age. Also a bitch to heave up three flights of stairs.

Transformation!



I believe my stop motion photo skills improved slightly on my second attempt.

Very pleased indeed, especially about the red couch! The "natural"-coloured one is just meh, but it's too late to return it because it's, well, already on the couch, and I'm far too lazy for that. Oh well. It's nice enough, and perhaps more so when it decides to stop being So Incredibly Wrinkly.





I have made my couches' new clothing sound like the biggest event of the week--and indeed, they are!! :D Well, besides Halloween in the office, which was quite epic (and I thought nothing could ever beat the hilarity of my diapered costume from last year), and perhaps tomorrow's actual Halloween party, which better be epic as well, or I will be very peeved.

*922 - purple as a ___

My outfit for the day.



Guess what I was for Halloween (costume #1)?

(Incidentally, those fleece-lined purple tights were a solid investment--they're going to keep me toasty in winter!)

*921 - cross-continent cravings

Missing (in no significant order) ...

- Roasted duck
- Cockles, preferably in either laksa or char kuay teow
- Satay in all available meat variations
- Chai tow kueh, white, not black please
- Kaya toast + soft boiled eggs + hot milk tea
- Chicken rice with a side of liver, no gizzards
- Hokkein mee, a default favorite
- Baby kailan
- Nasi lemak rice with good sambal
- Nasi bryani
- Roti prata (plain, egg, or cheese) with a heaping milo dino
- Chilli crab with fried mantou's to mop up the sauce
- Har cheong kai (fried prawn paste chicken)
- Muah chee cos it's fun and chewy
- Oyster omelette
- Ice kachang with attap seeds, no red beans
- $1 roadside icecream blocks held in a slice of colorful bread
- Generic "economy rice" food: I always get eggplant or lady's fingers or egg tofu

... and the fact that one can get a heaping plate of most of the above for just a couple of dollars! :) Shiok.

I can get some of that stuff here, but it's just not the same when you're eating homey food away from home.

Oh, Singaporeans--I would say that there's a foodie innately built into each one of us.

*920 - another weekend with mr. a

This is how I pretend that pizza is good and healthy: cover with handful of fresh tomatoes. Alas, my bulging tummy tells the truth.



Just the way I like you. Blurrily close, mildly grizzly, silly smiley, with eyes and lashes far prettier than my own to boot (grumble).



And ... tadah!! TWO brand new old couches in my living room!! Pre-slipcovered, in their full ugly mismatched glory. As you can tell, I am Very Happy indeed :)

*919 - for you

Thanksgiving popped into my mind for an instant, and my heart fluttered :)

*918 - view

This is what I see when I take a step or two away from my desk at work:



Desaturated and marred by the very reflective glass window and the BlackBerry lens. The sky was bluer (in a crazy intense way), the leaves were redder, yellower, greener, the lake was ... deeper.

A nice moment--three huddled by the window, one standing upon his desk and peering over with us, all quiet and staring and thinking, " ... wow."

If you squint a little at the photo and imagine everything five tones richer and spread expansively before you--maybe you can imagine what it was that made us pause for that moment.

*917 - it's always sunny on sundays

From what I remember, every Sunday in the past two months or so has been sunshiney and lovely. Even in the midst of gloomy, non-stop drizzly weekdays. Guess the rainclouds have been observing Sabbath too.

Another perfect Sunday. Refreshing sermon, satisfying post-church hunger with dimsum in Chinatown for the second week in a row, discovering a very close equivalent of the Singaporean teh bing in a little bakery, driving the girls home with the sunroof popped open (and abandoning the boys, who had to take the train back instead), and now basking in the wonderful reality of No Homework & No Prelims & No School-Related Commitments (although it does mean the absence of some school-related lovelies) ...

The simple pleasure of knowing that even though you are in a completely new city, that there are those one or two people who have known you since you were a pimply, braces-donning, gawky thirteen-year-old ("We went to the same high school and college and are now in the same city again" is our generic explanation), is comforting indeed.

*916 - curry

Evelyn's recipe for thick, coconutty curry. Not to be followed closely.

1. Uncover curry base recipe. Use it as a vague reference, but abandon immediately.



2. Begin by sautee-ing onion, garlic, ginger in pot. I threw in a handful of fresh cilantro because I have a ridiculous amount that needs to be used up. Instead of "can of stewed tomatoes," I like to use fresh tomatoes--today's pick was five plum tomatoes, coarsely chopped.



3. Pour in a can of coconut milk after everything's nice and soft, a heap of curry powder (I used about 3 tablespoons worth), an enormous spoon of canned tomato puree (instead of tomato sauce, which I did not have), and a gentle sprinkle of sugar to balance out the sourness of the puree.



4. Bring to simmer. Now add meat or veggies of choice. Mine: chicken, eggplant, potato, okra.



5. Simmer for ages and ages until entire apartment smells heavenly (and until everything's cooked). Take unflattering and hurried picture because of hunger and NOMNOM immediately.



There you go! Evelyn's guide to absolutely delicious curry with surprisingly little hassle, much customization allowed, and almost infinite room for error.

*915 - seeking fashion advice

I'm not sure how people take fashion shots of their shoes--I suppose they have someone to help out. My attempt yielded a photo focused erroneously on the grain of my floor, highly grainy because of the dim lighting, with awkwardly placed feet and unconvincing composition.



Poorly taken self-timed photos aside, I bought these silly bronze-gold shoes on a whim. What with winter around the corner and all, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with yet another pair of open-toed heels ...

*914 - seventy years

The loveliest little lady at a movement improvisation class today (looks sixty, moves like she's thirty, is actually seventy) told me after class: Look in the mirror. Enjoy your gorgeous young body. Be happy. Don't forget your youth. She moved beautifully and lightly and most mesmerizingly, and you could tell from her beautiful arches and long limbs that she was made to dance.

And it suddenly struck me that I do, indeed, take this body for granted. As much as I dislike it at times, it's lithe, it's not too creaky, it moves, it dances. When everything runs smoothly, you don't take any notice; when you do take notice, it's too late to treasure what has already passed.

An oddly enlightening moment.

*912 - bread machine attempt #1

So, Armando/mum gave me an ancient (but functional) bread machine some time back, and today felt like the right day to finally test it out (i.e. I was bored, I was hungry, and I ran out of bread).

I messed up the recipe a tad (such a silly mistake that I don't even want to discuss it) but it managed to produce a fairly decent loaf in the end, except that the top chunk fell apart when sliced. What amused me to no end was the cutely cylindrical loaf that it produced--this means the possibility of having ROUND slices of bread! ROUND sandwiches! Most hilarious (to me!) :D

Behold: Cylindrical cinnamon cranberry bread with sunflower seeds :)

*911 - somebody call ...

The fully-anticipated winter pudginess has commenced.

The problem is that it's barely winter. (Only 56 degrees now--winter officially begins at first snowfall, by my books.)

I don't know how to go on a diet, and I don't know how to how to get a cardio work out when (1) I hate gyms, (2) I don't have access to a swimming pool, (3) it's too cold out to go for a run, and (4) I can only take a dance/yoga class perhaps once a week, if at all.

-

Also, I've suddenly been hit by a panic attack, realising that Halloween is in a couple of weeks and I have not given my costume a thought. Last year's baby outfit was epic and unbeatable, what with the adult-sized diapers and baby bottles filled with alcohol. Hm.

*910 - the last farewell

A eulogy.

*909 - amazing amazon

Tuesday.
10.30 pm: My tap water tastes funky. It's time to get a water filter.
11.03 pm: Make purchase. Amazon says, "Thanks for your order, Evelyn!"
Soon after: Zzz.

Wednesday.
8 am: Wake up. Off to work.
9 pm: Return from work. New water filter is sitting at my doorstep.

Wow.

*908 - banana + chocolate: a recipe

Oh yes, and in response to the request for my banana muffin recipe ... here it is! :)

When baking, I usually follow recipes to a T, because baking (unlike cooking) is very much a science where every ingredient, in just the right proportions and temperatures and pH's, has to react perfectly. That said, this banana muffin recipe is more forgiving than most--add in a handful of fresh blueberries for a burst of color, or a handful of chopped apple to add a bit of fall in your muffins, or a handful of chopped strawberries for a bit of tang.

And one note about baking with bananas: make sure to use tremendously overripe bananas for the best flavor. Merely ripe is not enough--the bananas should preferably be totally blackened. Note of caution: warn everyone who lives with you NOT to dispose of your rotting bananas (lesson learnt from many an occasion where roomies / roomies' visiting mom's threw out my precious bananas, blackened to perfection.)

Okay, enough prattle.

Banana Muffins (makes two trays)
- 2 cups all purpose flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- a generous shake of cinnamon/clove/nutmeg
- 1/2 cup butter
- 3/4 cup brown sugar (I like to reduce this a tad, but it's a matter of personal taste)
- 2 eggs, beaten
- 2 1/2 cups mashed banana (about 5 large bananas, maybe)
- a splash of vanilla essence

(1) Mix flour, baking soda, salt, spices
(2) Separately, cream butter, sugar
(3) Separately, mix eggs, mashed banana, vanilla
(4) Fold in everything together at once, stirring until BARELY combined
(5) Bake in pre-heated oven at 350 Fahrenheit

When cool, frost with favorite chocolate frosting or ganache. I prefer something with little to no sugar, for a bold, dark, rich, adult, chocolatey taste that complements the banana flavor, rather than overpowering it with sugary sweetness.



With love again,
The Bakerina

*907 - surprise!

On Friday night, in the midst of my therapy session (a.k.a. solo shopping after work), I receive a call from the boy, which went something along the lines of ...

Boy: Hey, what are you up to?
Evelyn: Shopping, etc, new dress, blah blah, drizzling now, going to drive home, etc, etc, what about you?
Boy: Guess!
Evelyn: OMG YOU ARE IN BOSTON (thoroughly in jest)
Boy: ... actually, I'm an hour away.
Evelyn: *bowled over with the accuracy of her joking remark*
Boy: *bowled over by the fact that I was able to guess his well-kept secret*

Although it did sound very much like I had known all along, it was perhaps the biggest and loveliest surprise ever! Ever! :)

Two fabulous weekends in a row. One in Ithaca, one in Boston. Tomorrow's Monday blues are going to be blue indeed, heh.

If only Boston wasn't six hours away from Ithaca. Well, I have no right to complain; we are, at least, on the same continent, in the same time zone, and fairly reachable by car (until it begins snowing)!

To end rather irrelevantly, beach photos from several weeks ago when the boy was over, when it was warm enough for one to frolic about in one's bikini with wild abandon and slurp upon icecream / bubble tea by the shore.





Seashell-hunting!



Pebble-hunting, and belly hair.