The first thing I think about when I stir from my sleep is "what did I dream about last night?"--a habit formed from dream journalling (the first step towards lucid dreams, they say).
The past week's dreams have been heavy with frustration, panic, insecurity, sadness, general misery. When I am awake, my head swims from the dichotomy of emotions my heart feels. I am pulled this way and that, shoved, prodded, dragged, left alone, shaken.
Half the day goes by in a pretense. But which half?
I dread and I long and I am quite frightened.
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Evelyn
I close my eyes and imagine the dark hills I would have to cross / to reach you. For I am in love with you / and this is what it is like or what it is like in words.
Carol Ann Duffy
When I grow up, I'd like to be a cream puff. A cream puff with apricots, or even a plain one. Lukewarm at the bakery. In the window.
Jeux d'enfants
No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Samuel Beckett