Inside
Outside
Apple juice
The cruise. Wind in my hair, sun on my cheek, unlimited food, dearest Sommai, 72 chews, dimple in singular, 3 am hot tubs, the dungeon, pause grape grape grape mango two, conversations in bed, three reef snorkeling plus one, two in one, slot machines, ...
Well. It gave me time to be introspective. To look inside and ask why, why do I, why don't I, why do I do this, why don't I ever learn? And maybe it gave me time to be 'extro'spective too. To look outside and ask why, why does he, why doesn't she, how could he, why should she?
Unanswered questions. Some torment me. Others give me hope. My life is in some sort of a mess and I'm not sure where to begin cleaning up. Over there are my emotions tied up in an impossible knot. Over on the other side (somewhat literally) is a mountain of untouched work and career-related things I should not be ignoring. And over here is just me, trying to be happy, trying to ignore, trying to grow, trying to forgive, trying to heal, trying to forget, trying to smile, trying to love.
All of your faces. Floating through my mind, different memories and different feelings attached. All with a little "hmm" label. You make me laugh. Hmm. You make me doubt. Hmm. You make me curious. Hmm. You upset me more than you should. Hmm. You do not affect me. Hmm. And then you, you make me infinitely happy, infinitely sad.
Hmm.