*157 - who's afraid of the big bad wolf

So people think I'm unfeeling and mean and cold and hurtful. Perhaps I can speak for the 3 of us on this: We are affected very badly by the whole situation, for sure, and just because we act normally in class and seem to be pretty happy and nonchalant, it doesn't mean we're actually heartless and insensitive. Just because I don't cry and make a fuss in front of everybody doesn't mean I feel any less hurt. It's just not my way of handling things - I don't like to burden my friends with my problems, I keep the problems in me and only let it out to those very very few people who matter.

To the average classmate, or even a regular friend who has nothing to do with the issue, I suppose I would appear oblivious and uncaring. I do open up about personal issues to friends, but when my personal issues involve other people as well, sometimes it's best to keep the matter contained within the people affected.

That's not to say I'm putting down people who cry to their friends and open up to them in that manner. I mean, everybody cries on a friend's shoulder some time or another. (Okay, so I'm talking about girls here.) I just don't do it publicly and why would I want to let the world see that I'm upset? I find it humiliating to cry in front of many many people, because I just don't fancy the idea of having everybody see me cry, unless I really really cannot help it, and that's simply the way I handle things.

Just had to let that out of my system. I can't stand it when people judge me wrongly. If you hate me for a legitimate reason, then fine. But you guys don't even know everything. You think you know what happened, but you actually don't. You don't know. You really don't know. You don't know our side of the story, you don't know hers. You don't know the little details, which make all the difference. You don't know. So please, don't judge me. Don't judge my friends. And that includes her. You can't take a stand on a whim, when you don't understand what happened. It's not fair. It's really not fair.

If you know everything that happened, feel free to think what you want about me. Hate me if you wish. But don't hate me for unjustified reasons.