*1143 - for the better

How much my life has changed since I met you. Or more specifically, how much you have changed my life. Sure, everyone that comes into my life shapes it in some form. But some shapes are better than others.

*1142 - ya?

What are you looking at?

*1141 - half moon bay

It's a wrap, folks.  Another perfect weekend.

Homemade lasagna, red wine, $100 of picnic snacks, maybe $10 worth consumed, hippie activities on the beach, hippie activities in the city, more red wine, flying kitty, walks down memory lane.

Now to become a billionaire so that this can be everyday.

*1140 - therapy

Making bread is my therapy.

Uh, yes, even if KitchenAid does 95% of the kneading.

*1139 - cancun #3

So, I've been to Cancun thrice.  Thrice!  The first two times was because it was a cheapish flight away from NY with an acceptable drinking age (i.e., college kid on a budget needing a drink), and this time was because, well, just because.  We needed a Caribbean getaway, and some place that was in between NY and SF, so Cancun it was.  Being all grown up and making money means that you get to splurge on luxury, all-inclusive resorts when the spring breakers are in school. 

Still, I'm half-broke now, and my body is truly broken (barfing and pooing endlessly), but it was all so worth it.  Love my girlies.  Why do they have to be Easties?  SF is such a fabulous place, everyone should join me here.

In true out-of-character fashion, I volunteered first for this before even knowing what it was.  Petrified, but, I'm flying!

D'awww.

This selfie has a purpose.  The purpose is to show off my chest chakra.  Knowing I had a sparkly chest chakra definitely made me inhale deeper and exhale noisier and stretch longer and clench harder during those beachside yoga classes.  Everyone should have a sparkly chest chakra.

*1138 - first camping trip in adulthood

Particularly as an adult, I have faced surprising success in convincing friends to don headgear while doing innocuous activities like rock climbing or hiking.  This camping trip, I had several species of bunny, my little pony, and my ever trusty unicorn, AND was joined by the most delightful green monster that waved lopsidedly when squeezed.

Ever thankful, always blessed.

*1337 - tie dye butterfly

Starting to embrace the hippie way of life, which includes spinning flags in the middle of the woods.  I have not been happier in quite a while.

*1336 - strength

Today was a turbaned-lady-warrior-in-the-office sort of day.

(Many thanks to childhood bestie K who introduced me to the gloriousness of turbans.)

*1335 - poka and i are staring at you

My strangest cat-fie to date.

*1334 - as Willy Wonka said:

“You’ll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.”

*1333 - ?

Que se passe-t-il

*1332 - then she fell

It is a good night for ghosts. The Rabbit in the Moon is full and waiting to take souls to far shores as it crosses the sky.

I dreamt a dream that I was with you tonight. I awoke and my lips were numb from saying your name.

I dreamt that we were dreaming a dream together you and I, and we were trapped in a house, big as memory. Countless doors.

You were there. I could hear you laughing, but I only caught glimpses of you in the glass. Eventually I gave in, and found myself staring at myself, reflected. Looking at myself looking back at me. Both of us trying to decipher the face that was in front of us. My eyes seeing me in mine and countless.

I have retreated into twos because of you.

I wonder, when you look in the mirror, who stares you down at night?

But, it is late, and my mind is running away with itself.

Sleep well, wherever you are. 

It is a good night for ghosts. And between us, we have a pocketful.

(Then She Fell)

*1331 - zouk

Utterly strange to see myself dancing. This is nothing fancy, very basic, we didn't even get to the more standard zouk head/hair whip movements, but is excitingly the one clip I have of myself doing zouk :)

Sis called it "sinuous" which I thought was a nasty mix of sinuses and sinewy until I looked it up.  It is indeed a sinuous dance!

*1330 - a year in review

It has been about a year since the last big milestone in my life. Has it really been a year? This last 12 months has been a constant flow of adventure, of balance, of rediscovering self-love, of establishing myself, of allowing myself, of being myself. I'm so far from being the person I aspire to be, but I am so me, and being me with the goal of being a constant improvement of me, is a fantastic place to be. I feel unbridled, free, excitement, adventure, sparkles, yes, I feel sparkles.

Is indulging in yourself, looking your insecurities square in the eyes, working on some flaws and embracing others, striving, pushing, fighting for you, your peace, your confidence, is all that selfish? In some senses, yes, it is an indulgent me-focused activity, but fix yourself and that strength and energy and love will flow, and then it's no longer about you, it's about everyone else that matters.

I'm thankful, blessed, happy, and I hope you are too.

*1329 - hair

March 20th marked the anniversary of a year's worth of colored hair.  The last color was fantastic: it started off peacock four months ago, and has now faded to unicorn: two of my favorite colors (ultimate favorite being sparkles).

(Last week)

Upon reflection of this wonderful journey, and the realization that it's going to be a while before I have natural-colored hair again, today's biggest epiphany was: I've spent over a thousand bucks on my hair color in the past year.  Blimey.

*1328 - freezing

This is in Fahrenheit, folks, i.e., below freezing for the most part.  I'm thrilled for a quick getaway back to Cornell, but, look at that, holy moly!!  This now-California girl is not prepared.

*1327 - snow(board) angels

Y

Y

*1326 - just over a month

Sometimes, time flies.  For some reason, the past month has felt incredibly long ... in a good way.  I don't know how I packed in so many things in just 4-5 short weeks.  

- An incredible amount of work, and drama at work

- At least three ridiculous 5 am party nights that were mostly spent watching (1) Back to the Future, (2) R Kelly's Trapped In The Closet, (3) Britney Spears/Backstreet Boys/Christina Aguilera/llamas and the like

- A couple of ridiculously long chats that lasted through 6 am perhaps

- A couple of dinner parties hosted

- A couple of parties attended

- A couple of social dances attended

- An almost-finished six-week dance course

- Many lunches and dinners with many people

- An entire week somehow spent in Arkansas working and playing/dancing hard with old buddies

- A long weekend in Tahoe ... an epic story for another day

That doesn't make sense at all.  I can't mathematically fit it all into the days that have passed.  Very confused, but very pleased at how this year is going so far.

Now, I just need to fit this thing called "sleep" into the equation ...

*1325 - wish upon a star

My first ever shooting star, and I forgot to make a wish.  

This picture is grainy but it's representative of our view of the first meteor shower of 2015: minimal.  Cloud cover + bright moon + alluring SF city lights (when you are at the top of a hill overlooking the city at night, it's hard to resist the urge to take a peek at the expense of blinding yourself for the next ten minutes) + various intoxications + did I mention the clouds?  But what devastating conditions that made for such a brilliant time under the barely-stars!

-

Sunday, Jan 4, after a weird 7 hour nap post 7 am bedtime: a milestone, a first, a surprisingly comfortable and therefore terrifying reveal of some things I keep so close to my heart.  But with clarity comes confusion.  With confidence comes doubt. With openness comes shielding.  With joy comes restraint.  But that's ok, that's human, we're human.  We are all on a spectrum of opposites.

*1324 - 2015

I don't usually make resolutions but this year shall be a year of glitz and glitter and starbursts and sunbeams and rainbows and roses and moonlight and magic and I resolve to be a unicorn in ALL senses of the word.  Yes, because there are SO many senses of the word, clearly!

*1323 - what gets you really upset?

Many things, but a big one is a sweeping generalization.  People say stereotypes exist for a reason but that doesn't give you the right to assert your assumptions.  Even the well-intentioned sometimes rile me up: an earnest attempt to prove your acceptance of homosexuality to me, for instance, by bragging about your token "gay friend" only goes to annoy me because a friend is a friend is a friend so keep your friend's sexuality and your embarrassing shallow-mindedness to yourself.  It's not that I actively reject knowing about your friends' sexuality; the point is that you don't need to wave a label over their heads when it's irrelevant to the situation.