These days, I've been completely blissed out. After almost three decades ("what the what??"--my new phrase that makes me giggle) of figuring myself out, I think I'm at the point where I've worked out the intricacies of this complex and evolving being. I am still wrought with inadequacies and insecurities and peculiarities, but they no longer take me by surprise--acknowledge them, and then either focus positive energies towards making a change, or release and accept.
Why welcome back, Insecurity, you still feel icky on a visceral level (that sinking feeling in my tummy, that thump in my throat), but now I know what caused you to enter into my domain, and I know that some day I will be able to bid you farewell--or maybe even some day I won't. But that's fine, because I understand, and I know how to react in a non-destructive fashion, and maybe my heart will catch up with my head eventually. Maybe.
I catch myself beaming to myself without obvious cause when I'm alone, and chuckle.
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If you are struggling. Acknowledge the struggle, acknowledge the pain, acknowledge the brutality, acknowledge that you're not perfect, acknowledge that you will not be. It's an understanding of yourself that you may or may not ever be able to let go of. But try and release the negativity, to make room for the strength, that you may or may not garner this time, and it's okay if you don't. But you work towards the possibility that some day you may.