Today's my I-don't-give-a-damn-about-acting-like-a-Hotelie day.
I was literally sobbing over financial accounts last night and crawled into bed at 4 am. Needless to say, I crawled back out of bed this morning feeling like a nervous wreck. Didn't bother with contacts, prettying up, or dressing up (breaking Hotelie rule #1). Struggled through one class, gave up, went back to sleep, woke up to do readings. Slipped my way to class (I hate slush + boots with no grip), went for dance, and am feeling so antisocial (breaking Hotelie rule #2) that I'm back in my room now because being alone is much more appealing than the thought of going out for dinner and having to pretend to be happy.
During my nap between classes, I had a happy dream. So happy that I wanted to cry when I woke up because that little moment of happiness was gone. Perhaps that's what lucid dreams are for. To live in a different reality just for a while. Or perhaps that would be even sadder, knowing that your dreams come true only in your dreams.
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Evelyn
I close my eyes and imagine the dark hills I would have to cross / to reach you. For I am in love with you / and this is what it is like or what it is like in words.
Carol Ann Duffy
When I grow up, I'd like to be a cream puff. A cream puff with apricots, or even a plain one. Lukewarm at the bakery. In the window.
Jeux d'enfants
No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Samuel Beckett