It's slightly funny in a heh, heh, heh sort of way, how I've next to almost discarded (figuratively) everything that happened. It's kinda brutal, definitely unpleasant, but totally necessary. To me.
To be honest I'm pretty surprised, no, shocked, at how toughened and unfeeling I've become. Every good memory? Discarded. Every bad memory? Mostly discarded. What's left? Pangs of guilt and shards of shame. Not much, because I think about it as little as possible, but still there.
The ultimate irony: what I never take off from around my neck. Because it's expensive (haha), and pretty, but really, nothing more than that.
Such a bitch - but why bother pretending to be nice, or sentimental, or conjure up happy memories, when all I would be doing is lying to myself? I honestly did the stupidest thing I could ever have done in my life, and all I gained was the knowledge never to do something like that again.
EH I'm not emo don't worry, it was just a passing thought, just that it came out VERY depressed-sounding. Haha life's been good. And Ketat's on his way here, gotta run!! :D
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Evelyn
I close my eyes and imagine the dark hills I would have to cross / to reach you. For I am in love with you / and this is what it is like or what it is like in words.
Carol Ann Duffy
When I grow up, I'd like to be a cream puff. A cream puff with apricots, or even a plain one. Lukewarm at the bakery. In the window.
Jeux d'enfants
No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Samuel Beckett