*228 - ahma

And they all wonder why I dislike my grandma. (Dad's mum.)

It's not easy to tell of course, because in the presence of anybody else, she's a harmless little smiley thing with white hair and dentures. She particularly likes boys - I mean, she adores my father (naturally), my brother, and she even adores Justin. She used to hate my mummy so bad that mummy never once celebrated her wedding anniversary because the day of her marriage was most terrible and painful. (Can you imagine that? Whose parents don't celebrate their anniversary!?)

She's pretty nice to everyone now though. Even to me, when there are people around.

But you should see how she treats me when noone's in sight. Gosh. Anticipatory scolding (ie scolding me for something that I haven't done yet, like not washing the dishes, which I am going to do in a while), hurling insults at me (it's not translatable from Cantonese), muttering nasty things under her breath when I'm nearby. I mean, it might not sound like much, but having an angry person around me and getting the "I DETEST YOU" vibes early in the morning sure can ruin your mood for the rest of the day.

Treat me like crap, I can handle. Treat me like crap sneakily when you know no one will catch you at it - now that's really detestable.

And they wonder why I've never spoken a WORD to her in my eighteen years of living, except for a couple of mandatory 'xiexie's during CNY angpao-giving. EIGHTEEN years of stony silence from me. It's a vicious circle (I said CIRCLE! Not cycle! Ms Lim will be proud.) - my refusal to speak to her and her ugly behaviour towards me. I agonise over this from time to time, but I don't see myself breaking out of it and being all chummy with her anytime soon.

It's quite sad, I know, I should respect and love my grandma blah blah. Heh heh.

I'm always so jealous of everyone who has grandmas of the cute cuddly variety.