*177 - physics, and the thesaurus

Physics - Better than expected, because of the freedom of choice (6 questions choose 4, plus 3 fluids), so I happily omitted the topics I don't like to do. Really, really thank God because I know how disastrous my Physics can be (: I won't do brilliantly of course, but I'm just thankful that this Paper 3 doesn't spell disaster for me.

This means I have to study extremely hard for Paper 1 & 2 though, because looking at today's topics, yucky topics like Electric Field, Quantum Physics and (horror of horrors) Gravitation are going to be tested.

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I just did something rather silly. Mummy sent me and Justin out to wait by the gate (it's remote controlled) to open it for the computer van, because we just ordered 2 new computers. So we sat there by the road with our notes and fried our butts on the hot concrete, and waited, and waited, and waited. Opened the gate for some cars and vans.

20 minutes after the van was supposed to arrive I called home to complain to Mummy.

Imagine my shock when she told me that they had arrived, and left, about 10 minutes ago.

Bleugh! Turns out that the computer van was disguised as the furniture lorry, and I had actually helped to open the gate for them. Haha, so that was my airheaded moment of the day :D

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I want to blog about something funny but I don't know if I should because it's mean. Maybe I shall just copy from my sister's blog! (Push the blame to her! And because she let me :D ) And do up another post later tonight to push this one down, ehehe.

Ok my sister and I just spent several minutes laughing at jewellery descriptions, and I know it's rude and I risk fallout from the close-knit jewellery community but these are truly the funniest I've seen so far (and there are a plenty, yessiree).

"A silver butterfly evinces a salient effect of the green and crystal white spherical swarovskis, gesturing the classicism and conformity of this pair earrings."

Haha. Hahaha. More?

"A glass bead that shares the colours of blue and white with a tinge of silver creates a soothing oceanic and amicable touch to its broad view."

"This graceful yet extraordinaire pair of earrings was punctiliously put together."

"...red and crystal white swarovskis attached to it devises a simple yet dulcet overall."

If jewellery had feelings I think they'd be quaking with embarrassment ("Aiyoh don't say until like that lah, I very paiseh like that").

To the person(s) I quoted: You make pretty things, but really you'll have to put the thesaurus aside. Otherwise annoying and rude people like yours truly will start quoting you for entertainment value. So-so language is okay, baddish language is forgivable (we're all kind, aren't we) but this is really too terrible not to laugh at. Just write normally and nobody will bat an eyelid (as it is my eyelids have batted themselves to a pulp muahaha).

[I will probably delete this in a few days, so that everybody will continue thinking I'm nice and polite.]

I think it's hilarious! Darlings, please appreciate our cutesy item descriptions, because we don't type them out in Microsoft Word first and use the thesaurus on every single word.

Actually, let me try!

Original: "The squiggle isn't exactly a new concept, but then we think no one does it quite as beautifully as we do. ;) These earrings are surprisingly funky, thanks to the generous swirls. The ivory rice pearls add a lovely touch of class."

Thesaurus-ed: "The undulating line isn't precisely a novel philosophy, however we cogitate not a soul does it relatively as gorgeously as we do. ;) These earrings are without prior notice funky, credit to the munificent twirls. The ivory rice pearls affix a divine stroke of refinement."

Hoho! That was fun. I do suspect that's exactly what the writer did - using the thesaurus on every word that allows it, but in the process turning the sentence into an unrecognisable and ungrammatical mishmash of bombastic words.

To be honest, Elisa & I delight in looking at other (Singaporean, mostly) earring sites and laughing at their disastrous English. Not that our English is very high-class like that lah, but from everything we've seen so far, I do believe we're above average :P

Oh, Singaporeans.