01 November, 2005

November [under-the-waves]

1st November

Jealous jealous jealous. Of what?

Don’t tell you.

- - - - -

Class party yesterday wasn’t as fun as I hoped. Maybe because I was so tired I was practically dozing off watching people play the fighting game thing. I’ve forgotten what it’s called. Hmm. Looks like this:



[Mingchuan vs Justin]

Some of the girls, plus Mingchuan in the background doing bunny ears on Sam! I’m the extra one sitting on poor Liru’s lap :P Mostly everyone’s in black because that was the dress code for the day, it being Halloween and all.



Here are 3 monsters: Siyuan, Emerson, and a short, pouty me [pouty because they’re positively towering over me]. Emerson claims I look as monsterish as the 2 of them even without makeup on!



Justin is very loved. With Tubby sitting on his right leg and me on his left. <3



Anyway, the BBQ was smoky and I got all sweaty and hungry because everything took so long to cook and people were gobbling up all the food we were cooking. I retired for a while to take a break from the grease and walked just outside Jon’s place [which is really really nice btw!] for some fresh air.

First, Charlotte joined me outside and told me some stuff which made me feel rather depressed after that. It’s just sad how rumours can completely change people’s opinions and cause them to pass judgements on people before even getting to know them properly for themselves. Rumours really hurt, more than you know.

Then, Tubby joined me outside and we talked for quite a while. TUBBY CALLED MY THIGHS MONSTER THIGHS but I forgive him because they truly are :P And thank goodness for a nice boyfriend who wouldn’t get suspicious if his girlfriend disappears with another boy alone somewhere out there in the dark. Haha. Anyway. Would you rather be happy and loved, and risk getting hurt? Or be alone, and never get hurt?

After that, Justin joined me outside ... talked while trying to cool him down with an icy cup of coke.

I think mostly, I spent more time sitting outside Jon’s house talking to one person at a time than having fun with the class collectively. I’m not sure why, but I didn’t really feel like socialising with everyone. Call me antisocial, but I just wasn’t in the mood. [Ironically, I was being so bouncy and happy earlier in the day.]

Sometimes it gets really tiring to pretend to be happy. It sucks to know that there is a bunch of people in your own class that you don’t exactly want to even try being friends with because of certain individuals. I’m sure the rest of them are nice people but ... I don’t know. Something like the repelling force of some > the attractive force of others. Which is really mean of me but aiyah my blog you dowan to read then you go away.

Heh.

- - - - -

On to happier things ...

Bodybuilder Justin.


Hahahaha XD

This was on Sunday, when he came over to ‘study Chinese’. We took lots of photos instead, mostly of him lounging on my bed making a variety of expressions. I think I can name the album The 101 Different Faces of Justin Tan or something like that. But I shan’t bore you with the photos :P

Except this one!


Justin, TATTY<3, and me. Don’t we all look terribly charming? (:


2nd November

I reached the dance studio at about 9.57 this morning, expecting to see a studio-full of dancers warming up etc because we had a jive lesson at 10. To my surprise, all I found was Matthew reading a book and Jem sleeping on a mat.

An astonishingly small number of people turned up for the lesson [conducted by Wanjun!] but oh well, their loss! I danced with Just again, and even though we were definitely not the best dance couple, we sure had lots of fun! Especially for the crazy “Spanish arms” bit where we were screaming and whirling like crazy and thumping each other on the head unintentionally, haha.

- - - - -

Practised the Chingay dance once through with Just and Cat/Matt after that, and I think we’ve improved slightly. Now, we only have to stop in the middle of the dance and yell for help about 10 times, as opposed to the 1st time where we stopped after practically every step, clueless as to how to continue.

I know that’s quite sucky especially considering it’s a 45 second dance [I think] but we’re newbies lah. Hehehe XD

- - - - -

Met the boyfriend for lunch in J8, walked around aimlessly after that, bought Norah Jone’s Sunrise CD [yayyyy] and walked back to school again.

Ok, fast forward to the Lindyhop lesson at 5.30! We learnt the inside and outside turns, and the Texas something [Texas Tommy?] which was good fun (: Can really tell that all the boys are improving fast! Justin’s not half bad, really. Haha.

OH. Something really catastrophic happened. Justin and I were doing an inside turn, and somehow because we didn’t turn fast enough or didn’t raise our hands high enough, I ended up walloping the poor boy across his mouth with my elbow, and ended up cutting his lip, and everything became rather bloody.

I nearly died of a heart attack. Goodness me. I’m so so so so so sorry!!

- - - - -

It was raining, so Justin’s mummy came to pick us both up. Got sent right to my doorstep as usual, which is very nice of her but very paiseh for me! Hehe.

Dance dance dance. That’s all I seem to be doing nowadays. Not that I’m complaining, dancing definitely gives me that much needed adrenaline rush (: The only downfall to it was that I get lots of icky calluses on my feet, and I also got a large blister that oozed gallons of juice when I pricked it. [The weak-stomached should look away now!]


Ugly feet huh! The white thing is my blister.

Speaking of dance, I had to dig through mountains of old gym shoes to sieve out a couple of the more presentable pairs to lend the Fall performers. They looked really nasty, eewww:



Ok that’s the end of disgusting photos (:

- - - - -

Chingay practice tomorrow, more dance on Friday, dance performance on Sat ... Busy busy busy, but at least I’m busy with something I enjoy! (:


5th November

Hm! I found a couple of photos I had taken a little more than a month ago in a fit of boredom. I don’t think I’ve posted them up before, and so I shall now. To explain the weird photos: I was tired of studying and wanted to see if I could still do a split after more than a month of no training and no stretching. One thing led to another and ... tadaa!

Bet some of you never knew I could grab my leg from behind, hehe! Gym juniors reading this, don’t laugh at me because I’m aged and out of practice okay. I know you guys, under laoshi’s powerful coaching, probably can do much more astounding things than me :P

Anyway ...

This is what you call a “needle” I think:



“Look, ma! No hands!” [Don’t be fooled, my leg will dip much lower once I let go of the window ledge.]



Making a silly face! :D [I’m not trying to lick my foot, really]



Lastly, an upside-down-grin!



Pardon the gross blouse-and-fbts outfit, as well as the disgracefully messy room. Hope you enjoyed that, though I have a feeling I’m shamelessly displaying myself to the world like a circus exhibit :P


6th November

Chingay prac on Friday was more tiring than anything else. Just and I didn’t do TOO badly, at least we weren’t one of the staggering, falling-to-the-floor-halfway-through couples. We were merely one of the blur, forget-steps-halfway-through couples, and I guess that’s slightly better than the former.

Skipped/jived/grapevined/posed along the school driveway after that with a few other groups. Looked immensely silly but oh well, everyone kind of did too.

- - - - -

We performed on Saturday in front of Toa Payoh Library on a little circular stage for a surprisingly substantial crowd. Bet they all fell asleep during our dance though, who wouldn’t, when modern is sandwiched by Latin and hiphop, 2 extremely funky and appealing dances to the general population. The 2 dances did really well, by the way, it was lovely watching them (: And laoshi said our modern dance was good, so yay.

Much as I love modern dance, I always gawk at good hiphop dancers and wish I could be like them ... Unfortunately, I think I’m just not quite made out for the sharp movements, the style, and the ass shaking required for that sort of dance. I guess that’s why I’m always put into the slow, graceful kind of dances. Maybe it’ll come with practice, but I’m too busy and way too shy to sign up for classes. Oh well, my loss I suppose!

- - - - -

Saturday, though, was an utterly depressing day for me. The only good parts were receiving $10 for dancing [yeah we got paid hehe] and dancing itself [because dancing always makes me happy, yay].

I don’t know how many people would actually understand the feeling, but it’s a terrible emotion that whacks you hard and leaves you stinging and hurting for pretty much the rest of the day.

The feeling you get when you’re surrounded by lots of people you know, no one you dislike, no one dislikes you, but yet, you still feel utterly alone. No one you particularly love, no one particularly cares for you either. The worst part is, when you’re completely forgotten and left alone by yourself, and no one would have noticed if you hadn’t made a protest.

Ouch.

Apart from that, there was the usual crippling agony of feeling fat, so yeah, that got me feeling downer than ever.

And apart from that, seeing all the loving boyfriends/girlfriends who turned up to watch the performance got me feeling even downer, knowing that mine was stuck at his auntie’s house.

Bawled like a baby for the I-don’t-know-how-manyth night in a row. Thank you dear for putting up with all my rubbish. I don’t know who else I can turn to.


7th November

I typed all that angsty stuff in the previous entry in a wave of self-pity and gloom, and since then I’ve cheered up greatly thanks to nice long happy chats, an uplifting sermon at NCC, and TAKING OUT MY BRACES.

Omg omg omg.

NO MORE BRACES, oohlala! :D

No more ulcers lining my cheeks and lips!

No more shiny metal bits that reflect light horribly in photographs!

No more poky metal things hooking onto my flesh and tearing it out by accident!

No more painful rubberbands that snap and rebound painfully against your cheeks and gums!

No more laborious digging food out from additional nooks and crannies created by the braces after every meal!

Now I can brush and floss easily! Now I can eat popcorn [I haven’t for years, I think] and chewy things and hard, crunchy things without fear! Now I can finally say goodbye to the National Dental Centre [not entirely I guess, I still have to get my retainers]!

Oh yeah, and now I have straight teeth heh heh heh.

That being said, I don’t exactly feel any beautifuller than before – My teeth feel a little wobbly, a little too big, and definitely very slimy. Hmmmm.

Oh well, I’m just really thankful they’re finally off, after years of suffering.

-big toothy grin-!!

- - - - -

I helped dye my sister’s hair yesterday, it was pure pandemonium for that 10 minutes or so. I kept accidentally blobbing the hair dye onto her scalp, and onto her face and ears even, and we screamed so much I’m not sure what the neighbours thought.

This was how my sister looked like once I was done. Gorgeous, eh? ;)




8th November

Look at me, I'm a cannibal!


[No braces! Sorry Gabrielle, your turn will come soon!]

Thanks Sinhui and Jeslyn for the gummies (:

- - - - -

My brother’s been away on a missions trip, so I’ve taken over his room for the time being. It’s a bit chilling to sleep there at night, though.

This is a rug that he has that is made from real deer skin:


And this is the deer head itself, hung up on the wall!


Yeah, he shot it himself with his archery set when he was overseas, studying in Cornell. Imagine that thing watching you as you sleep.

-shudder-

- - - - -

Justin would like the world to know:

“I HATE I&ARRRGGGHHHHH”

Very well-expressed indeed, and I fully concur ): Nevermind, PW is ending this Friday!! [Well, Saturday for me, if you count in I&R]


10th November

Because I won’t be in Singapore on Monday [when I&R is due] I have to complete it by today and give it to Char tomorrow. Ack.

OP tomorrow, please remind me to talk as loudly as my lungs can manage, because they always complain that I’m way too soft. I need a secret microphone clipped to my collar, man. Bleugh.

- - - - -

Conducted a gym meeting yesterday in the library, haha! We actually managed to sort out most of the stuff I wanted to sort out, so yay (: Thanks, guys! Even for the bizarre ideas like throwing computers and chairs etc.

PW dry run after that in the freezing computer lab where my fingernails turned a dusty shade of blue-grey due to the cold ... together with the nerves, I’m surprised I wasn’t trembling like a leaf while presenting. I watched some guy presenting before us and he was shaking so much that even his pants were vibrating.

Went out for lunch, first time eating a BK Whopper Jr, first time tasting shark cartilage soup, Justin sent me all the way home <3, tried to do I&R, blah blah.

- - - - -

Romeo and Juliet

Targeted time of meeting with Amy was 7.20 pm, she turned up at 7.28 which wasn’t too bad (: We walked to the Esplanade, got thoroughly freaked out as the warning bell went dongdongdongdongdongdongdong [6 min before doors would be shut!] and (small) Evelyn & WJ, who had our tickets, were nowhere to be found. Thankfully, we rushed in on time and even Shib managed to get into the theatre despite being late :P

Having paid for tickets priced at $105, I kinda expected more. Being Russians [haha] they were gorgeous, the gan jue was spot on and their technique was immaculate. But somehow, it was a little too draggy and the group choreography usually wasn’t exactly very exciting. Only one person [Juliet] was en point in the entire ballet which was quite ): because I love watching pointe.

Some parts were overdramatised [like the silly boy who took practically 10 minutes to stagger around before finally dying] while other parts were over in a jiffy [like the ending, which wasn’t too tragic].

And to make it worse, there were 3 intervals lasting about 20 minutes each, which made the 2 hour ballet stretch to 3 hours. Yawn.

The Romeo and Juliet pas de deux were lovely though, Juliet was so pretty and dainty and light and flowy and elegant. Nice nice.

Guy ballet dancers are awesome to watch, because they somehow suspend themselves in the air for a while when they jump and they can do multiple pirouettes in a row.

AND they have sexy butts. Um Justin, pretend I didn’t just say that :D

Anyway, thanks Amy for keeping me company yesterday (: I would have rotted during the walks to and from the Esplanade and during the intermissions if you weren’t there to talk about being self-professed cheapo’s [Yay! Sales!], to discover that we both used to race raindrops down window panes, to wonder why in the world the principal dancer wasn't Romeo, blahdeblah. –sneak sneak sneak POUNCE- <3

- - - - -

I wonder why so many people bother to read my boring, inane ramblings. And if you think I don’t know that you read my blog, please leave a note on the tagboard over there! (: I only know a fraction of the people who visit this, I’ld like to know who the rest are! Thanks (:


11th November

NO MORE PW FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

-beams-

Oral presentation was quite problem-free for our group except for the Q&A for some of us ... but according to feedback, we’ve all improved since the last dry run so yay! Thank God for calmness and clarity of mind, and I really pray that all the practice paid off in the end. I think poor Justin can now recite my speech for me because I’ve rehearsed it to him a gazillion times.

I honestly haven’t learnt much from PW despite my sickly sweet depiction of it as one of the most magnificent, inspiring experiences of my life in the I&R. [It must be because of I&R’s like mine that sing of the glory of PW, that cause MOE to continue torturing J1’s with PW year after year.]

PW has been an absolute nightmare for me right from the beginning. What I gained was sleepless nights, broken friendships, bitching sessions about me, and a shitload of misery. But to look on the bright side, ONE good thing that has come out of PW is the fact that I’m now closer to Charlotte.

Had a meaningful talk with Char after the OP today ... Just want to say that from the very beginning, I’ve never doubted your character in any way. To be perfectly honest, I can’t deny that I’ve never been irritated with you, because I have, but mostly for unfounded reasons. Like when we initially couldn’t assign you much work because your computer kept crashing (but that’s not your fault), and when you’re so skinny while I’m so fat and life is unfair that way, etc. Haha! Just kidding but yeah, I’ve never mistrusted you or thought badly of your personality.

Charlotte, let’s pray that next year will be a smoother year for both of us, and no matter how kiddy this sounds, I really hope we can forge a stronger friendship after all we’ve been through. <3


Sometimes, looking at people and situations around me, I wonder how this could be what JC life entails ... I might as well have remained in primary school.

- - - - -

Phew. That’s one gigantic load off my mind now.

- - - - -

Badminton with Justin, Mark, David, GH, and Liru in RI just now. Technically, badminton with Justin and Liru, because the other guys were playing so aggressively that I didn’t even dare to sit too near them. And I only dared to play with Justin because he promised to be nice and he aimed all the shuttlecocks kindly in my direction, haha.

Much love <3 to Liru if you’re reading this, thanks for screaming and laughing and missing all the easy shots with me!

It was a good stress reliever, and now I feel (deceivingly) unburdened and freeee (: Until, that is, I take out my notebook and realise that there’s an extremely long ‘Things To Do’ list waiting for me. But till then, I shall remain blissfully unaware and enjoy the rest of the holidays!

:D


12th November



This was taken on the summit of Mount Ophir some time end 2004! Clockwise from left: Jiching, Linette, Jingwen, Adam, Caleb, David, Roland, Justin, me (:

[Yeah we’re in a sorry state, I know.]

The dense mist was hiding an otherwise panoramic view, the wind was threatening to blow us off the peak, we were practically dying of thirst [with only apples left to quench our thirst], we were sweaty despite the coolness, we were dishevelled and covered in mud, we were more than exhausted,

but nothing can quite express the emotion of struggling and crawling and straining and feeling like giving up but finally arriving at the top of the world.

[Not quite the top of the world but shh.]

Looking at Ophir pictures has got me all excited for this Sunday. Taman Negara, here we come! (: (:


17th November

Hello, I’m finally back from Taman Negara! :D

Home sweet home – the bliss of comfort and familiarity and good food and lack of mozzies/insects in general. Ahhh.

The trip was good AND bad, and I was being a sillybilly and focusing on the bad bits throughout the trip instead of fully enjoying myself like I should have ): Well, I shall try not to lament too much now, and relive the happier moments in my mind (:

I’ll be uploading the photos and updating another day, I’m too tired at the moment and I’ve got loads of other stuff to finish up. But for now ...



A big thank you to Justin, Adam, Jaafhya [Jaafer + Sandhya] and Jacwen [Jacinta + Jingwen haha] for being such good company :D

Updates next time!


18th November

Presenting, the happy moments in Taman Negara! :D

[Photo-intensive, just the way I like it (: Don’t say I didn’t warn you.]

- - - - -

DAY ONE

1.

Justin came over early, and we played ‘The Longest Journey’, supposedly one of the best adventure-type computer games of its time, hehe! Jingwen came soon after and we sort of made dinner [cajun fish] which was yummy (: The rest arrived in dribs and drabs and we got onto the bus by 9 pm.


2.

The bus had no suspension to speak of, so we spent the 8 hour long journey bouncing vigorously up and down and side to side in the bus. While the rest played cards, I tried to sleep – I can’t really do anything in vehicles without puking so playing cards is quite a no-no for me. Everyone prolly thought I slept like a log throughout, but more often than not I was merely trying to sleep. Slept no more than 2 hours.

- - - - -

DAY TWO

1.

We finally reached the jetty at about 5 am, after taking multiple wrong turns. The drivers unceremoniously abandoned us there and left us to rot till 9, which was when the boat would arrive to bring us to the resort.


2.

Had breakfast at a little shop there. Here’s Sandhya spelling out some of our initials, and we realised that Justin Jingwen Jacinta and Jaafer all start with J. Heh :P


3.

All of us on the 2.5 hour boat ride there! Very nice to sleep because it was breezy and comfy (: The view was quite pretty too [even though the river water was brownish]!

We settled down at the resort upon arrival and crossed the river to have lunch.


4.

Next on the agenda was rapids shooting! We got terribly wet, not so much because of the rapids but mostly because of the water fights we had :P Jingwen lost her slippers because we had to get out at one point when the boat got stuck on the rocks, and Adam lost his wallet when Jaaf and Justin threw him into the water, haha! [In the photo we’re all dripping wet, but you probably can’t tell :P]

We had a buffet dinner after that where Justin stole just about the entire plate of smoked salmon. [One plate normally costs 18 ringgit! Hehe!]

- - - - -

DAY THREE

Started the day off with breakfast in bed – that is, the rest went for a buffet breakfast and Justin brought back some food for me because I wasn’t feeling very well and couldn’t drag myself out of bed.

Jingwen, Jac, Justin and I put on knee-length socks in preparation for any leeches ... strange enough, no one got bitten then, but only later. Heh heh.

1.

First up was jungle trekking. Our guide was really nice and along the way, we saw funky stuff like the Tongkat Ali plant ahem ahem, and the guide attributed his um 10 brothers and 8 sisters (?) to that plant. Haha. It was really tiring though, I’m devastatingly unfit, ohno. It reminded me a little of Mt Ophir, all the clambering up tree roots and stuff! Trekked to the summit of the hill and proceeded on to ...


2.

... the Canopy Walk. It was suspended pretty high and it’s really cool to look down and see little green bushes, only to realise that they aren’t little green bushes but actually tree tops.


3.

After a cup noodles lunch, we trooped down to go to the waterfalls but in the end it was cancelled. While the rest wanted to go swimming, Justin and Adam walked me back to my room because I was feeling ill [as aforementioned :P], sigh. It turned out that they didn’t swim because the area looked rather yucky, and they were hurrying back because a leech attached itself to Justin’s foot! While I was snoozing away, they had loads of fun salting the leech and cooking it with a lighter. Sandhya soon discovered one on HER foot, and they went through the same procedure.

I was quite sad that I missed out on the fun, but thanks to Jingwen I caught the videos of the salted leeches squirming and dying! My sister’s reaction when I showed her the videos: “Hmm, actually they’re quite cute. I love it! Let’s watch it again!” Haha XD


4.

Here’s the story of the pink drink on the left of the photo. Justin and I were walking around the minimart and saw this, and wanted to try it because it looked pretty. So we brought it to the cashier and as we were paying,

Me: What’s this?
Cashier: For woman. Lime.
Me: Lime?
Justin: Huh?
Cashier: For woman only.
Me: For woman? Why only woman?
Cashier: -smirks-

Hahaha. We found out it was the female version of Tongkat Ali :P [Which is on the right of the photo]

That night, they bought beer for 17 ringgit per can [ouch] and lots of sprite, so we all drank jolly shandy while playing cards. Some people seemed rather tipsy, and we ended up cheating so badly at bridge that it turned out to be a two-player game instead. Hilarious.

- - - - -

DAY FOUR

1.

One of the funnest activities we had, in my opinion, was the cave exploration! We got it at a discounted price of RM 35 instead of 45, due to clever negotiations with the guide, haha. Took a boat there, and trekked through the mud to get to the caves. We were rather unprepared for the leeches, and some people got bitten! I didn’t, most thankfully. I think it was mostly the fear of leeches that kept me charging on quickly. It was terribly muddy and sometimes practically my entire shoe would sink into the mud.


2.

Before entering the caves, Jingwen, Justin and I put on matching white hats and gloves for protection against bat guano, eek. I lent Jingwen a head torch thing, which came in very handy because holding a torchlight and climbing at the same time proved to be rather tricky. I thought it was realllllly fun squirming through crevices and splashing through little streams ... I only wish it could have lasted longer!


3.

Along the way back, we popped by the Orang Asli village to see how the natives lived ‘naturally’ in the jungles. It’s quite amazing how all their needs are provided for by the jungle, they even have sandpaper leaves and stuff like that. The photo is of Justin trying out their blow pipe ... apparently they can shoot the darts more than 50m away!


4.

This was the state of my shoes/pants after the day’s activities. Very very very muddy.

Yep. So after checking out (late) and hopping onto the bus, we embarked on a very long trip back to Singapore at 2, arriving back to my place at about 1 am I think.

I bought a marvellous amount of food at each stop we made because stuff in Malaysia is delightfully cheap! The bus drivers must have thought we were awfully deprived children, looking at the way we went crazy in petrol shop buying bagfuls of junk.

Mainly dozed and ate and talked to Justin on the way back. Sadly couldn’t turn around to talk to the rest because I would have puked from motion-sickness. [Why so lousy ah? Sigh.]

One last photo before we arrived back at Singapore!



- - - - -

Thanks for the good memories, guys ... I’ll miss the lack of adults and seemingly endless flow of money [not in Adam’s case though :P] and the fun activities and, of course, the company! My photos are here, if you want the large versions of them do tell me! Let’s have a [better organised] trip again next year alright? :D



THE BAD

So many nasty things happened throughout the trip that really got me feeling down ):

ORGANISATION

From the moment we were dumped at the jetty, everything started going wrong. We were told the boat only arrived at 9, so that was a 4 hour wait for us in a ulu little village with nothing open yet.

When it was finally time for the boat ride, they tell us that we have indeed paid $328 each, but that was not inclusive of anything other than accommodation. Because Michael sent us an itinerary over the email, we didn’t have any vouchers to show that we had paid for accommodation, 3 activites, the boat ride, and a few meals. Used Justin’s phone to call home and Michael settled the free boat ride thing, and we were supposed to receive compensation if we had to pay. I thought that would be the end of our troubles.

Once we arrived at the resort, we went to confirm our next activity, rapids shooting. They told us yet again that nothing has been paid for and we had to pay for all the activities ourselves. We got them to settle it with Michael and went to put down our stuff first. Called Michael for ourselves and he told me that we had already paid for rapids shooting, hooray. When we got back to them, they said that Michael told them no activities were included. After a multitude of expensive phonecalls we finally got rapids shooting for free.

This whole process repeated itself just about every single time we wanted to do an activity that we had already paid for, as well as the free meals that we were entitled to. Although in the end, we ultimately did not pay for anything extra, this got us really annoyed throughout. I really don’t understand why the KL headquarters, which they called every single time we had to reconfirm our itinerary, could not just pass them all the information once and for all.

Terrible service >:(

My mum complained to Michael, and she is asking for some form of compensation. I really hope she gets it because this pretty much ruined the trip for me. Even right up to the point where we were checking out and ready to leave, they insisted that we had to pay RM 175 for the free boat ride on the very first day!

Grr.

It really got my mood down and I didn’t enjoy the trip as much as I should. I was completely at the end of my tether and once even ran sobbing into the boyfriend’s arms after the millionth time of arguing with the receptionists.

- - - - -

FEELING ILL / TIRED

I think it was the 1 plus hours of sleep I got on the first night on the bus ride there that completely messed up my sleeping cycle, and thereafter, I was absolutely tired and lethargic all the time. It didn’t help that my nights were spent tossing and turning, because although I was exhausted, I don’t adapt well to new environments and find it really difficult to sleep anywhere other than my own bed. Lousy, I know.

In addition, I was having waves of cramp-like stomach pains, even though I wasn’t exactly having my period then. Constipating did not help things one bit. I realise I also find it really difficult to poo anywhere other than home. Very lousy, I know.

I often got pounding headaches and not much appetite [yeah, I usually eat more than that lah] and overall felt rather ill. I felt especially horrible while jungle trekking, because of these whirring white lights that were in my eyes, which I usually get when I feel faint. Ugh.

And of course, I’m unfit as a sloth, so jungle trekking was naturally very tiring for me. Sigh sigh sigh must go running more or something, I have no stamina to speak of!

- - - - -

Actually that’s basically it ... just that these 2 things spread themselves thickly over the course of the trip and affected everything I did. Sure, the activities were pretty fun, [except for jungle trekking/canopy walk which was more boring and tiring than anything] and I enjoyed the times I could spend together with everyone and of course, with Justin. But the entire trip could have been so much more enjoyable if only the organisation were better.

I have to say, thank you so much to the very long-suffering boyfriend ... I can’t say the trip has drawn us any closer than before because we have always been very close and we know just about everything about each other hehe ... but spending 3 entire days knowing that you aren’t far away, and having you around to help me every time I fell [not literally] was just ... heavenly. Thank you for all the encouragement and all the support, all the fun and all the laughter, all the hugs and kisses and all the love. It’s been more than 15 months, and we’ve had our share of ups and downs. This has certainly been one BIIIIG up for us. I love you (:


19th November

EVELYN'S EXCITING FRIDAY.


#1 Express Train

When I stepped out of the house, I called Justin to check whether he was done with gymming and ready to meet me. I was greeted by his sleepy oops-I-just-got-up voice instead >(

Well, we met at Orchard in the end at the ‘correct’ time, much earlier than I would have expected him to arrive. He tried to fool me for the next few hours that he took an express train that ran straight from AMK to Orchard through some passageway underneath the expressway.

HAH. I was not fooled. [Only for a few seconds lah :P]


#2 Pepper Lunch

My first time trying out the pepper lunch at Taka ... I had a salmon something, it’s really quite fun to stir up all your food on a sizzling hot plate, but I expect the novelty will soon wear off. It was quite yummy, even though the salmon was sadly overcooked. I tried to balance the salmon pieces on top of the rice but they cooked themselves anyway ):


#3 Dental Appointment

I got my retainers. Ugh! Can’t talk properly in them, and I can’t believe I’ve got to wear them for a year! So nasty.


#4 Falling Asleep

MRT-ed home with the boyfriend. Fell asleep in his arms along the way, not really intentionally. I was counting on him to wake me up when we arrived at our stop, but it turns out he fell asleep too and we overshot to Sembawang. Hahaha. Crossed the platform and went back to AMK, making sure we were both wide awake this time.


#5 On The Way Home

It had been raining. I stepped off the bus at my bus stop. As the bus stop is elevated from the pavement by 2 steps, I put my other foot on the top of the steps, meaning to walk up onto the bus stop platform.

Instead, because of the slippery floor, I felt my foot sliding forwards! I tried to maintain my balance and prevent myself from falling but instead slid gracefully into a split across the steps of the bus stop.

The worst thing was, there were about 5 people at the bus stop staring at me as if I was some crazy woman who did splits in muddy puddles for fun. It would have been much better if I had taken a painful fall, but the problem was that I didn’t even look like I had fallen down.

Soooo embarrassing. I sat there stunned for a moment, then quickly stood up like nothing just happened and scampered off home.


#6 Broken and Mended Relationship

Not referring to mine, because we’re doing fine and dandy (: Only a feeeew people might understand what this is about, but I don’t want to elaborate here. Suffice to say, I was really devastated but now I’m overjoyed (: God bless you two.


#7 Harry Potter

I had a buffet dinner with the family minus the sister [exams coming], and watched Harry Potter at the Science Centre Omnimax Theatre! Yes, in that huge curved dome-shaped thing where you lie back and look at the wall/ceiling.

The buffet was cute because the different stalls were labelled ‘Hufflepuff’ and ‘Slytherin’ etc (: AND there was chocolate fondue, mmm!

I thought the movie itself was great (: Disregarding the fact that many bits of the book was missed out [eg. Doby! And the World Cup!], after all it was a really thick book, the effects and acting was pretty well executed in my opinion. The Weasleys were terribly cute, and Hermione is just getting prettier. Harry was Harry I guess, nothing too spectacular. I really didn’t like Dumbledore though, he was overly fierce and worked up all the time. And the entrance the Beauxbaton girls made was just laughable. And I don’t see why Harry was so smitten with Cho, she isn’t even pretty.

Good movie nonetheless, some exciting bits sent shivers up my spine, and the 2.5 hours passed very quickly. One problem with the Omnimax theatre was that although everything was really big and clear, it was a bit tiring to look left and right and up and down all the time to see everything, and I think I must have missed out quite a few details because there were just so many things that were out of my line of vision.


All in all, it was a beautiful day and despite the gross retainers and embarrassing moments, I’m happy happy happy (: Off to Jitterbugs now with small Evelyn, ELEVEN years of dancing together, whee! I think I shall get a Jitterbugs t-shirt soon! And I want jazz shoes, but unfortunately they cost $130. Will think about it.

Tata for now (:


21st November

Woke up at 6 plus am to get to Tubby’s dad’s place at 8.30 today. Daddy sent me to Bishan, Justin’s dad picked me up from there and sent us to City Hall MRT, we took an MRT to Eunos, and took 13 to Marine Terrace. Ouf. Tubby, don’t complain about us waking you up at 8 something lah. -growl- Haha!

About 6 hours of checking in patients, packing and dispensing medicine etc equates to about $30. I really don’t feel like going through the hassle of getting to the office again, and it’s not as if I’m devastatingly poor either. Really admire people like um Sinhui who work and work and work and work!

But perhaps if I toil for a few more days I’ll be able to get a pair of jazz sneakers without feeling like a large fraction of my savings just vanished. $130 for a pair, I don’t really feel like burdening the parents for more money.


Jazz sneakers – beauties that’ll enhance the arch and make dancing so much smoother (: Yum.

Does anyone have a low-commitment, high-paying job to offer me? I can tutor your little siblings :D Ehh, my PSLE results not bad you know! Haha sigh.

- - - - -

Long overdue: I got my S papers, most surprisingly. I have a feeling daily work and attitude counts a lot, eh Tubby? Haha kidding, hope everyone’s appeals get through!

Just to defend myself in case people like a certain someone try to put me down again:

Even though I got 2 S papers, I still resolutely believe my results were disappointing, by my own standards. I didn’t meet the minimum requirements for S papers [all subjects must get C or above] and for one of the S papers I got, I didn’t even get A.

But nevermind so much about that.


Just want to thank God for His infinite mercy and grace for pulling me through yet again, He’s always paved the way for me even when I think I screwed up real bad. Time and again He’s shown me that trusting Him and receiving His blessings yields awesome results. And because He’s laid this opportunity in front of me, I’m going to grab it and depend on Him for strength and wisdom to do well. Thank You for bringing me so far! I love You <3

- - - - -

Forgot to mention: I’m really really proud of Justin (:

Noone would have expected it, in all honesty haha, but he was about 3rd overall in his class! Which is full of smarty pantses! Yeah ... so naturally, he got his S papers, Chem [obviously] and Bio [which is really quite exclusive]! So proud of you for finally turning over a new leaf (:


22nd November

A hundred things I have or have not done in my lifetime.

[Who actually reads these things? Haha, just for my own amusement. The aircon-like temperatures, very rare in tropical Singapore, are freezing my brains.]

001. Climbed a mountain
002. Been inside the great pyramid
003. Held a tarantula
004. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
005. Said 'I love you' and meant it
006. Hugged a tree
007. Done a striptease
008. Bungee jumped
009. Visited Paris [One day, I shall.]
010. Watched a lightning storm at sea
011. Stayed up all night long and watch the sun rise
012. Walked to the top of leaning tower of Pisa [One day...]
013. Grown and eaten your own vegetables [Grew tau gay as a kid, but they always looked so skinny & inedible.]
014. Touched an iceberg [New Zealand, I think.]
015. Slept under the stars
016. Changed a baby's diaper
017. Watched a meteor shower
018. Looked up the night sky through a telescope
019. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
020. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment [Too many times! Ack.]
021. Had a food fight
022. Taken a sick day when you're not ill [It’s easy when you’re a girl, just blame everything on cramps.]
023. Asked out a stranger
024. Had a snowball fight
025. Taken a midnight skinny dip
026. Taken an ice cold bath [Usually not by choice.]
027. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
028. Seen a total eclipse
029. Ridden a roller coaster
030. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking [I’ve danced like a fool, but I care who’s watching!]
031. Adopted an accent for an entire day [French :P]
032. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
033. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
034. Had two hard drives for your computer
035. Had enough money to be truly satisfied [As much as I gripe about being broke, it’s not too bad usually.]
036. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
037. Watched wild whales
038. Rock climbing
039. Midnight walk on the beach [Walked on the beach at night, but not quite midnight.]
040. Sky diving
041. Visited Ireland
042. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love ):
043. Pretended to be a superhero
044. Sung karaoke [I can’t believe I haven’t, haha!]
045. Lounged around in bed all day [ALL day? Maybe only when I’m extremely sick.]
046. Posed nude in front of strangers
047. Scuba diving
048. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
049. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
050. Visited the Great Wall of China
051. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog [All the time. Now’s your chance to enlighten me, leave a note on the tagboard if I don’t know you come here!]
052. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken [My heart’s certainly been broken, but it heals up fine (:]
053. Toured ancient sites [Loads overseas.]
054. Taken a martial arts class [I don’t think the lesson by Liru counts!]
055. Been in a movie
056. Crashed a party
057. Gone without food for 5 days
058. Made cookies from scratch
059. Won first prize in a costume contest
060. Ridden a gondola in Venice
061. Gotten a tattoo
062. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on [Weird.]
063. Got flowers for no reason
064. Masturbated in a public place
065. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
066. Performed on stage
067. Been to Las Vegas
068. Had a one-night stand
069. Gone to Thailand
070. Spoken more than one language fluently [I’m effectively monolingual.]
071. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
072. Had plastic surgery [Eww, no!]
073. Wrote articles for a large publication
074. Lost over 100 pounds [100 pounds = about 45 kg!!]
075. Held someone while they were having a seizure
076. Broken a bone [Tailbone, ouch.]
077. Killed a human being [!!! Omg.]
078. Gone on an African photo safari
079. Ridden a motorcycle
080. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
081. Ridden a horse [Briefly, when I was a kid, in NZ.]
082. Had sex on a moving train [Kinky. Hahaha.]
083. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon [Been there, but didn’t exactly do anything apart from look at it.]
084. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
085. Visited all 7 continents
086. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
087. Eaten kangaroo meat
088. Been a sperm or egg donor
089. Eaten sushi [Yum (:]
090. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
091. Taught yourself an art from scratch
092. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
093. Skipped all your school reunions [Ahaha =X]
094. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
095. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
096. Had a booth at a street fair
097. Dyed your hair
098. Loved someone you shouldn't have
099. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy [I don’t know? Ask him yourself :P]
100. Kissed in the rain


Haha, did you learn anything new about me? :P In case you were worrying, #098 and perhaps a couple of others aren’t referring to Justin.

- - - - -

Absolutely unrelated but who said this entry had a point anyway:

I’ve always wished I could write in the fancy schmancy whimsical way that whisks people off their feet. Everything comes out stilted and cringe-worthy whenever I try, like now.

- - - - -

& when I wake up you look so pretty sleeping next to me,
but there is not enough time,
and there is no song I could sing,
and there is no combination of words I could say,
but I will still tell you one thing,

we’re better together

- Jack Johnson



24th November

Lots of random memories and thoughts from the past few days are swooshing around in my mind. Snapshots at the bottom of the page. Not in chronological order:

- - - - -

Debussy is heavenly, but trying to play Debussy is quite hellish.

- - - - -

Training’s a lot more fulfilling and fun now that the artistic coach actually bothers about us. It’s been ages since we’ve had anyone who cares about the pathetic few of us rhythmic gymnasts, and it feels good (:

I kinda learnt a front walkover, screaming a lot in the process of learning. I haven’t perfected it of course but that’ll come with more practice (:

- - - - -

Mini ‘ballet lessons’ with Nat/Sarah from the Intermediate syllabus [where I stopped years ago] made me realise how much I miss ballet. Technical, no doubt, but I love the structure and the skill required, and within that structure you can mix in your own style and grace.

Most unfortunately, next year will be such a busy one ... Chingay, gym concert, dance concert, lyrical lessons ... I doubt I’ll be able to fit in another dance class. Anyway I’m a little too old and lousy to be starting ballet again, sigh.

- - - - -

Worked at Tubby’s dad’s place again for a little more than 2 hours. Spent the time there helping to pack medicine and sort out cards. Brainlessly boring, I must say, but at least there’s Tubby and Justin to keep me company! I don’t believe I’m only getting $5 per hour, haha. Tubby, when will we be getting our pay! (:

- - - - -

Shib! OG ice skating outing please!

- - - - -

Hmm, tongkat ali and his female equivalent are still sitting on my desk.

- - - - -

Ironing clothes is a hot and sweaty affair. I ironed some clothes just the other day for the first time ever! Pampered brat, yeah yeah. Most of the clothing ended up more creased than before though, but at least they were dry I guess?

- - - - -

Just when I thought I was out of my crybaby-phase, having gone at least 2 weeks without bawling [haha yes I’m a real big baby but only one person knows clearly just how big a baby I am] ... I cried and cried last night. Sorry dear.

I think there are a few general stages in relationships.

1. The initial euphoria where both of you are sickeningly mushy wushy lovey dovey and tend to gross your friends out. Everything whizzes by in a bliss and you feel like you’ve never been happier, and absolutely nothing can get you feeling down.

2. The novelty wears off and you start discovering quirks and traits about the other person that might not be entirely to your liking. You may begin losing interest, or the journey starts to become bumpy. Couples who aren’t willing to compromise and learn to love the other for their quirks end here.

3. Once you get over that major bump, the journey tends to be pretty smooth after that. There’s no longer any need for showing off the relationship or for lavishing extravagant gifts and words on the other just to show you’re being the perfect gf/bf. Because he/she knows you are already. (:

4. However, this smooth journey is broken up by little bumps here and there, perhaps due to obstacles known as PMS etc.

5. But it’s usually not un-mendable and everything works out fine and dandy, you marry and live together happily ever after blah blah. <3 Yay!

A year and a couple of months, and I think we’ve been in stage 4 for quite a while! Waiting impatiently for stage 5, hehe ...

- - - - -

Important learning point from going to the beach: Always tie up hair when in the sun. I now have a dreadful hair tanline down my back.

Also, be more liberal with the sunblock, especially on the face. My face is of an embarrassing shade of lobster pink at the moment, and I have chaota-ed limbs and tanlines galore. Ick.

Justin feeding me scrambled eggs for breakfast by the beach:


Awww! <3

- - - - -

Speaking of the beach, Justin and I relived our childhoods, but with a twist – Instead of sandcastles, we built a cute little sandbunny! Ahhhh.

Sadly in the photos it doesn’t look half as cute ):


But still cute lah right?

Imagine our horror, when we touched up on the sandbunny and even made it a carrot, the tide started coming in and after a few mighty waves the sandbunny was no more ):



First, the head dropped off ... Then the body started melting away ... And sandbunny was gone.

- - - - -

Told you this would be random! I’m too tired to piece everything together coherently.

Ok it’s time for dinner, toodles.


29th November

Diary-x keeps failing on me, grr. Here’s something I wrote a few days ago but failed to publish.


You know those flame designs you can find decorating ah beng shirts, ah beng cars etc?

Well, I’ve pretty much got one of those designs imprinted on my shoulder. Together with various lines and splotches and charred marks across my back.

And no, I don’t think it’s cool at all. These have got to be the most frightful tanlines I’ve ever seen. And they definitely weren’t intentional! Ask me if you want proof of the ah beng ‘tattoo’ on my shoulder, I can show you. Eek.

Thankfully, t-shirts cover things up pretty well ... I think I’ll be sticking to t-shirts for the next few months, or at least till they fade.

Ohhh the horror.

:’(


I would show you pictures of it but my camera’s in for servicing. Boohoo, I feel like a part of me is missingggg. (I’m such a geek.)

- - - - -

Lookie here! Stupid article bashing GEPpers!

Seriously. Is it not natural to form close bonds within your own classmates? And they happen to all be GEPpers because, well, it’s a GEP class?

It’s not like I go about ranting, OMG THOSE EXPRESS STREAM PEOPLE. Forever forming cliques and keeping amongst themselves as if they’re the cream of the crop!

And it’s not as if in class now, I’m only sticking to Charity and and and whoever else was a GEPper, I don’t know and frankly I don’t quite care. It makes no difference to my friendships and it hardly seems to make any difference to my academics – my results obviously aren’t soaring sky-high above everyone else’s.

I think I’ve ranted about something like this before. Yep I have.

Overgeneralization, especially when it wrongly involves me, really annoys me. Don’t make silly comments when you don’t know any better.

- - - - -

Off to dance in a moment. I’m always there early/on time. But the door is always locked and no one arrives until at least 15 minutes later, and the lessons generally start half an hour late. If that happens yet again, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t see why I bother to actually be on time anymore, I thought that was showing basic courtesy for the people holding the classes, but considering they themselves are often late perhaps I shouldn’t care anymore.

Worse yet, the number of people arriving for each lesson has been pathetic to say the least. The last chacha lesson was attended by about 6 or 7 people. Even if you don’t like that genre of dance, I think it’s simply a matter of respect to turn up and at least try to keep up. I can’t say I adore all the different types of dances and I can’t say I’m brilliant at all of them because I obviously am not, but at least I make an effort to be there and learn.

Nevermind, shan’t rant too much. Who knows, maybe like ¾ of the dance club is coincidently overseas on holiday! Maybe, maybe.

Well, off for hiphop now. Which I really really suck at, ahaha.


30th November

Mush ahead, induced by the prospects of not seeing the boyfriend for 9 days starting this Saturday. Especially since we won’t be able to spend one of our month-nivarsaries together. And the fact that I’ll be gone for a week after that. And that we won’t be able to spend Christmas together for the 2nd year running.

People allergic to excessive mush ought to stop reading now.

- - - - -

Then

I still remember our pre-getting together days. Nope, I don’t mean the Rosyth classmates days where you sat opposite me and shot paper bullets filled with chalk at poor Adam. I mean those months just before we became, well, us. I still remember ...


The anticipation of talking to or seeing you.

The lovely long conversations we had, where you made me laugh with your antics and helped me smile again when I was miserable.

How you confided in me, and I confided in you.

How my heart went pitter patter thump skippity skip pause boomboomBOOM whenever I thought of you.

The way every word you said would run through my mind over and over again, no matter how trivial.

The way your gentle and caring character, and the quirky things you did, appealed to me from the start.

How we would accidentally-on-purpose bump into each other at various RI-RGS occasions like track meet and ORA.

How we nervously grinned when you answered ‘No lahhh’ when asked ‘Your girlfriend ah?’

How I blushed and stammered and didn’t quite dare to look into your eyes when I met you.


Now

And even up till today ... Everything has pretty much stayed the same, except presently,


We very purposefully indeed meet each other,

Nobody bothers asking if I’m your girlfriend anymore,

I could stare into your eyes all day, because in your eyes, I can see that you love me,

And all the other statements are in present tense.


And now, there’s so, so much more.


I’ll miss you <3